Post # 1
With all of the wedding planning involving the fun, indulgent stuff like shades of Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses…I’m starting to get concerned that I won’t actually be getting MARRIED come my wedding day because we still do not have an officiant. I do not know what to do…My fiance’s is Christian and I am not. He is not strictly devout (thus is okay marrying a non-Christian) but his family is more religious and expects us to be at least married by a Christian minister. However, as the wedding will be where I grew up (NYC-area) and he is from another state, we do not know any ministers in the area that would be willing to marry us. Does anyone know how to handle this??? How do I find a Christian pastor who belongs to a Church that will permit interfaith marriages and is willing to marry us??? After following up on a few leads from my friends/family that unfortunately did not work out, I am out of ideas.
My apologies for the ranting nature of this post — it is 3:40am where I am and I am not thinking straight
Post # 3
Don’t panic. You probably have plenty of time.
The first thing to determine which denomination of Christianity your husband and his family follow. Some denominations have strict rules about who can marry you and where you can be married. For example, if he is Catholic, his marriage would need to be in a Catholic Church by a Catholic priest or deacon to be valid. If he is non-denominational, then any minister could marry you virtually anywhere.
If his denomination has limitations, then you can call a church in the area where you’re getting married and ask to speak to the pastor. There’s no problem doing that – they get questions like this every single day and generally are pretty helpful in answering questions. There’s a chance you might get a rude minister or someone that hounds you about “why you’re not saved”, but that’s the exception rather than the rule. Most people know that such an attitude is counterproductive.
If there’s no limitation in who can marry you and where you can be married, then you can approach the situation like selecting any vendor. There are a number of non-denominational ministers that basically just come in for the day and marry you. If you call your venue (I assume you’ve already chosen a place for the ceremony), they likely have a list of ministers that they’ve worked with in the past and can recommend. Then you call them, discuss the wedding, and choose the one that feels right.
Post # 4
@bmb2b: I’ve been reading a book on interfaith ceremonies written by this pastor, who actually happens to be in the New York area. Her book is great and really welcoming and empowering to engaged interfaith couples.