No Wedding Party… opinions???

posted 6 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee

I’m not sure what there is to be regret about. If they really are your friends I’m sure they will still participate if you want their opinion on something. Also, there is less to be hurt about if nobody gets the “honour”.

Post # 17
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee

No wedding party for us. BUT we will be having my niece n nephew as flower  girl n ring bearer. But they won’t stand at the altar 

I see no problem with doing things your way. 

Post # 18
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

We didn’t have a wedding party and it was great. There was no need to make plans or arrangements for anyone else. No drama at all, and I still got ready with my family and we still got plenty of pictures. One of the best decisions I made regarding the wedding. 

Post # 19
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

I had no wedding party. Partly because the only person I would have asked couldn’t even make it to my wedding. And 2) I believe that of a bride asks someone to be a bridesmaid or a maid/matron of honour then she should pay for dress/shoes/makeup/any jewellery she wants them to wear. And that was just not in the budget. Of course I wouldn’t tell other brides they must do all that but that’s how I feel about it for myself. So I asked nobody. 

It was nice not to have to add the anxiety of choosing a dress that someone else would be able and more importantly WANT to rewear. My husband on the other hand had 2 of his brothers stand with him. No biggie. He is close with them and wanted them do stand up with him.  I did however end up with accidental bridesmaid Dad because nobody told him he was supposed to sit down after he walked me down the aisle lmao. So make sure your dad or whomever performs that duty knows what do is my only tip lmao.

So in short. If you do not want a wedding party. Don’t do it. 

Post # 20
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I’ve been a bridesmaid three times. And each time, I wound up doing SO MUCH work because no one else from the groomsmen to the hostesses were doing what their roles were at the weddings.

Each time I was a bridesmaid, except one, I was an alternate who had to upgrade from hostess because someone dropped out.

If you don’t have them, just make sure — if your wedding is big enough — that you have a bride’s helper and someone handling logistics from the gifts table to who picks your wedding dress up at the hotel while you catch your 7am flight to who makes sure your luggage is in your honeymoon suite and who makes sure it’s decorated to who in the heck is really supposed to clear the plates off the guests’ tables! Yes, people. I had to do that at a wedding while everyone else, including the hostesses just ate and danced. And the bride got mad at me for not being there in time for pics, but hello, your grandmother has a pile of plates in front of her!

They were DIY weddings, granted. But you still have to think about who will help you lift that dress and take down your panties so you can pee. Yes, I did that. Who will keep other guests from coming in where you are while you’re trying to get ready?

At least have one bridal attendant. The one who hands you some lipstick because yours has worn off already. That’s all I’m saying.

 

 

 

Post # 21
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I did not bother and it was GREAT. We were having a pretty non-traditional wedding, and as we met overseas and have lived in various places (and it was pretty much a destination wedding for these reasons) it made sense. No drama, no extra expenses etc. What made it great was that my best friends still got ready with me, alongside my mum, but they didn’t have to wear some hideous ‘gown’, weren’t made to spend a fortune on extra wedding stuff. As for the pictures – those people are still there, they’re just wearing normal clothes! Traditions are great, but they’re only powerful if you truly believe they’re important. If you’re only doing it because its the done thing, maybe take a moment and think about why you’re doing it – if its unnecessary then just let it go – it’s so freeing!  

Post # 22
Member
2242 posts
Buzzing bee

LoDrum90 :  you seem so kind to be considering how everyone else will feel, and also very reasonable and level-headed based on how you’re considering your fiance’s personal desires for the wedding. I don’t have any advice but if your friends are anything like you, everything will turn out fine! 🙂 

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

Post # 23
Member
317 posts
Helper bee

We didn’t do wedding parties and it was great!! We did family for the wedding ceremony and dinner, then had friends over the day after. 

Post # 24
Member
6999 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t worry about having a wedding party. 

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