(Closed) No wedding party?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
596 posts
Busy bee

i think it’s totally acceptable to have a "family only" wedding party.  you can involve your best friend and other girlfriends in other ways without her standing next to you during the ceremony. how about having them help you get ready the day of or give a speech at the reception?  

Post # 4
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think it would be acceptable not to have a wedding party (I am not having one), but it might be confusing to have a best man but no other attendants. Imagine the three of you standing up front, in front of the officiant, at the ceremony!

On the other hand, if the best man will have another role but not stand up with you guys, that could be fine – if he helps ensure things run smoothly, gives a toast, is there for support, that I think would be fine. 

Why don’t you want a bridesmaid? And why does your fiance want a best man? Can you two agree either to maybe have one each or none at all, and give those close friends & siblings other roles during the wedding? I would talk it out and decide what is most important. 

You summed it up right – you can do whatever you want – but it might look odd to guests to have three people upfront. I think you’ll find that you don’t HAVE to have equal numbers of attendants, but having any against none would be odd. 

Good luck! I’d love to hear more of what you’re thinking. 

Post # 5
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)

There are no rules and you can do whatever you want (hence its your wedding)
I didn’t have any friends in my bridal party (BM or MOH) and I don’t think it offended anyone. Since it was all my family… I guess it passed well.

Having them take part in the ceremony is a great way to involve them without the title. Or, include them in your shopping or planning.

But seriously… a wedding without a wedding party because it isnt you is perfectly fine.

Post # 6
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My husband had his brother stand up for him, and I had my sister.  All my other girlfriends helped in various ways, but had no official role.  And although it’s easy to call my sister the Maid/Matron of Honor and his brother the Bridesmaid or Best Man, we didn’t really think of them that way at the time.  We just asked them to stand up for us as witnesses.  It’s totally a matter of personal preference; there is nothing wrong with deciding either way.  Although, if it was me, I would either try to convince your Fiance not to have his brother stand up with you through the whole ceremony, or I would have your sister stand up with you (as mary-alice-me says, the picture looks a little interesting).  It is totally possible for his brother to stand up with him until you get to the front of the room, and then sit down until the ring is needed. 

Post # 8
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009 - Small church ceremony with mountain-view log cabin reception

is that seriously your best friend above? kind of strange response…

If you truly feel like a wedding party just doesn’t fit you, then that’s perfectly acceptable. Anyone who is your true friend will understand and fully support you either way. I think that wedding pictures might look better when the numbers are even, but they don’t have to be even! good luck! 🙂

Post # 9
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

No the numbers absolutely don’t have to be even! I disagree with poster who said it might look weird…doing something you aren’t comfortable with is weird!

The people you stand up with you are important people in your lives, whether there be 1 or 16. Adding someone just to make things "balanced" doesn’t seem fair to the add-on or yourself. 

Post # 10
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009 - Small church ceremony with mountain-view log cabin reception

have to clarify if megK is referring to me- i never said it would look weird if the numbers are not even. **some**people might say that **photographs** will look better, but I didn’t way I was one. Please do what makes you comfortable!

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