(Closed) No Work Friends Vent

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I really think you should have probably made the extra effort your first year there, but what’s done is done. If you’re happy otherwise, I don’t think work friends are necessary, especially if you have a healthy outlet outside of work!

Post # 3
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

This doesnt sound like harrassment and going to HR to demand they befriend you will most certainly backfire. Its sucks but not much you can do. Candy on the desk helps start personal conversation. Its small but it gives cause for people to stop and acknowledge you atleast. 

Post # 4
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have very little desire to speak to my coworkers about my personal life. I’ll make small talk here and there but, I have friends outside of work. I like to keep both lives seperate….

I don’t really know how you’re supposed to rectify this at this point, just be polite to your coworkers and get over it? This is not an HR issue and at the end of the day, work is work. Not a party.

Post # 5
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Is it because of your job title? if you are an internal auditor, I can see why they are not talking much to you. Idk, im just guessing. But if you are unhappy at work, try to find another job. It sucks not to have a social life at work. 

Post # 6
Member
619 posts
Busy bee

I think every work place has a few groups of people who talk to each other regularly. I’m not ‘friends’ outside of work with anyone I work with, but I’m a talker and manage to have a conversation with just about everyone. If you’re comfortable with it, just start talking to people. If they think you’re the weird girl who never talks now, then you’ll just be the girl that talks to everyone. At this point I don’t think you have much to loose?? As for the ‘popular’ one… Haha popularity ended in high school. She just has insecurities 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Count yourself blessed. Really. the drama’s that I’ve seen played out in offices between “friendships” so not worth it. This is absolutely not an HR issue. “People don’t like me, or don’t talk to me” Really? No.

Post # 10
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Laguna Beach

Ahhhh we are having the same experience! I’ve been at my office for almost a year, and most days, I will not talk to anyone face to face. No one acknowledges me, ever. I’ve tried different tactics, but it’s just the weirdest thing. Literally, I will walk into the kitchen and say ‘hello’ to someone making coffee and they will look at me, maaaaybe smile, then look away. I will walk down a hallway and pass someone, they look away. I’m not the most outgoing person ever, but I’m friendly. I just don’t get it.

The only consolation I have is that no one is friendly to anyone else. So it’s not like everyone else is friends. It’s just a company of the most un-friendly people ever. 

It is just not in my nature to straight up ignore someone. So I keep saying my hellos and whatever, feeling lame all day.

I’m sorry, bee! It is a very lonely thing. No one at my work knows I even got engaged! I love my job, but I’m looking for another one. I hope you find something better soon as well!

Post # 11
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

tiki429:  If its so high school, why are you so concerned?

A lot of people don’t mix their personal and professional lives. Not being besties with your coworkers doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.. Just as not being part of the cool clique in high school doesn’t mean you’re not cool.

Post # 12
Member
4088 posts
Honey bee

bklynbridetobe:  I agree. Trust me, OP. I’m in management where I work and OMG. Some of the drama that goes on between employees, that I have to help rectify is BEYOND frustrating and childish. Sometimes I feel like I’m in preschool. Count yourself very blessed. 

Post # 13
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee

The way I look at it is work is work your not there to hang out with friends, that being said not even saying hello to you is pretty rude IMO.

 

Post # 15
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I feel your pain!! I have been at my job for 10 years and work with manipulative,  brown nosing b**ches!!

One day they’re your friend and the next they try to sabotage you.  I have cried an ocean of tears and had many panic attacks before finally learning to mentally block them out and to focus on work.  I know it’s hard though,….hang in there and don’t give a f**k about them

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