Post # 1
oh i’m having a bridezilla breakdown. my Fiance just asked his friends to be groomsmen today. our wedding is about 6 months away. I’ve been begging him to do this since we got engaged. I told him people need time to plan and budget for things. So he texts me today and says “asked everyone, we all want to wear black suits since so many of them already have black suits.” uhm. no. fucking no. i’ve had grey suits chosen since i started planning. it’s an outdoor spring garden wedding. you arent wearing black mismatched suits. even if we chose black you would have to all buy/rent a black from the same place and the same manufacturer. this is the exact situation i was trying to avoid. now i look like a controlling bitch because i won’t allow them to wear whatever the fuck. my brain hurts. i’m so fucking pissed. and one of the gm said he “doesn’t do rentals” because it’s like wearing someone elses underwear. i’m sorry you feel that way but if you choose to buy a suit that means everyone else has to purchase one as well, as they have to be FROM THE SAME BRAND. i’m trying to have a semi-classy wedding, not a bunch of hicks wearing off colored suits they’ve had for 10 years. this whole thing has been pretty stress free until now. i ask FIs opinion about things and all i ever get is a sneer or a “meh, whatever you like baby.” and now he’s throwing a fit because “it’s not all about me, it’s his wedding too.” oh really? well where the fuck have you been when i ask you for help on anything wedding related? we agreed on grey suits months ago. both of us. he conveniently forgot that and told them i had chosen tan suits. what the fuck. one gm suggested on fb that they just wear cargo shorts, flip flops and matching shirts. fuck. no. i might have a keg of pbr but that is the extent of the red necked ness at my wedding. SO PISSED. thanks for letting me rant.
who ever heard of a wedding party just wearing whatever they have laying around? it does’nt work that way!
Post # 3
@janetsnakehole: so sorry to hear ur going thru this but i feel ur pain i had my fsil husband (who was a last min replacement) ask if he could wear his dress blues (hes in the reserves) i told them no bc 1 everyone else is wearing black 2 it would take attention away from the groom 3 my fh was in the air force, so was another gm so if theyre not wearing theirs why the heck would you wear yours?! thankfully they said ok and kept it moving but i def feel ur pain, dont worry about being looked at as a bitch do what you want to do to make ur day how you want it
Post # 4
I’ll see if I can post you a picture, I’m posting from my phone right now…our Groomsmen wore mismatched grey suits, with the same tie, and they looked amazing. About half already had a gray suit, half went and got a new one. Not redneck at all. Black might be harder to pull off, but maybe if they have gray suits that will work out.
Post # 5
I actually plan to have the groomsmen all wear gray suits that are different. However, nothing in my wedding is very matchy-matchy or traditional, so I think it’ll work. I see why you’re upset, I had a similar fight about my Fiance wearing an old button up blue shirt to our wedding. I eventually won, and he’s wearing a new white shirt. We all have our moments and things that are important, I hope this works out in your favor!
Post # 6
@janetsnakehole: who ever heard of a wedding party just wearing whatever they have laying around? it does’nt work that way!
lol, sorry, that made me chuckle – I was really focused on making sure our bridal party didn’t spend too much money on stuff they might never wear again, so I gave them some color options and practically begged them all to go through their closets and find something they already owned to wear to our wedding. If you check this google link, you’ll see that mismatched suits can look pretty good!
Personally, I say save the ‘zilla moments for something pretty big. You’ve got a lot of time left for many other glitches!
Post # 7
Sorry, but I have to agree with Groomsmen regarding rented suits. To me, they look cheap and ill-fitting most of the time. My Darling Husband was a groomsman this fall, and the suit rental was $150!?! He felt uncomfortable and silly wearing it when he owns a beautiful $1000 tailored suit of the same color. For our wedding, I asked the groomsmen to buy their (mismatched) suits and sent several suggestions of varying cost – Macy’s, Express, JCrew, etc. If you prefer everyone match, I think a $100 suit from Macy’s with a tailored fit would be preferable to a rental.
Of course it’s your wedding and you can insist on rentals, but try not to take it personally. I’m sure the guys just want to look their best.
Post # 8
Do they all have gray suits? It seems silly for them all to spend money on something they already have in their closets.
I got all the guys their vests at Express and I bought them all the same ties as well, they all had their own pants from gray suits they already owned. I can assure you, literally no one, ZERO people are going to be examining the guys suits to make sure they are the same brand.
I agree though, black suits for a summer/outdoorsy wedding would not work. What about black pants with out jackets, or vests? It sucks he waited til the last minute – but thats such a guy thing – I swear, my husband was still working on the music the MORNING we got married. It all turned out fine!! Hope they all have gray suits already, but if not, Express always has coupons and standard gray suiting for a reasonable price.
Post # 9
Men’s Warehouse has amazing suit rentals that look wonderful, with many different styles and colors to choose from, plus their rentals are extensively cleaned. That is what my FI’s Men’s Warehouse consultant told him anyway which I tend to believe since we’ve been to a few weddings where the groom and the GMs wore rentals from this company and they looked wonderful.
I am sorry you are going through this, that is something I wouldn’t have even thought about until it hit me like a ton of bricks. The only problem I’ve had in that department is that my Fiance rented out bow ties instead of black ties, so he’ll have to go back and change that before the wedding, but it isn’t that big of a deal.
Just know that this isn’t a big deal, calmly show him the pictures and tell your groom this is what he and his men will wear. If one of his groomsmen does not like that look or doesn’t like rentals you can tell him that he can buy the suit you’re looking at so he can match for the wedding. Make sure though that this suit is affordable for them this is a huge thing. This is your wedding and there is no room for Groomsmen divas in my opinion.
Listen to you groom and his men, try and work with them, but in the end stick to what you want and what will make you Fiance happy. This is the perfect time to put your compromising skills to work.
Post # 10
I don’t think that having perfectly matching wedding party members is what makes a wedding “classy”.
Post # 11
I know it’s annoying for them to throw a wrench in your plans, but I think you should let your Fiance decide this one. This is something he cares about, why can’t he have his way? Regardless of how it looks (and I don’t think it will look nearly as bad as you think), he should have a voice on things he finds important.
Post # 12
*raises hand* Our gm wore suit pants and shirts they had and wore matching vests. Honestly no one will notices that much if the groomsmen aren’t wearing the exact same suit as long as it is the same color. No one looks that close because they are looking at the beautiful bride and groom! I say not worth the fight because it IS his wedding too and they are HIS groomsmen so unless he picked out your Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, let him pick the groomsmen outfit.
Post # 13
If your bridesmaids are matched, IMO, I agree with you that you would want to have the same/similar suits for the groom’s party. If you’re being a bit more mismatchy (I suspect you aren’t), you could get away with “black suits” rather than the same black suit.
The real issue, though, is your Fiance undercutting you and not following through with stuff and making the planning process harder. To which I say, man, I’m sorry, and that crap would drive me nuts too. I had a moment at the beginning where my husband thought maybe the men in his party would wear suits and his one groomswoman would wear a women’s suit and the other groomswoman would wear a bridesmaid dress, and I was like…NO, that will NOT work. So I sympathize!
Post # 14
@Ellegee: I would love to see your picture too if you can post them. I’m going to be doing the same thing with the Groomsmen and my bridesman. Basically their own grey suits and maybe matching ties.
Post # 15
It sounds like you need to take a step back here. Yes you have a vision, but it’s your FI’s day too and these are his friends. No one will notice or care what the GMs are wearing. Let your Fiance decide on this issue and make it one less thing you have to worry about.
Post # 16
I’m a British bee and I know I have a different opiion since it is the responsibilty of the bride and groom to buy outfits for the members of the bridal party. If you REALLY want them to wear grey suits and they can’t afford it you need to pay for them even if it’s just a small contribution. I don’t believe members of the Bridal Party should be out of pocket. Sorry.