(Closed) NO you can't wear fucking jeans to my wedding. (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 92
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee

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@blushpinkbride:  Apologies.  It’s my whimsical British sense of humour.  I changed your text from ‘suit’ to ‘spacesuit’.  I quite liked the crazy idea of people turning up to weddings in spacesuits and people being annoyed if they didn’t do so, but I can assure you I wasn’t being completely serious. 

Post # 93
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee

This is funny, I would have been Zilla about almost all of your scenarios except this one. I went to a wedding of a childhood friend of my FI’s last year and it was fan-cyyyy with a capital C lol. It was held at a schwanky hotel that was $600+ a night with the room block discount and her Maid/Matron of Honor (also FI’s close friend) shared that the reception was $250+ per person. My Fiance was a bit befuddled because they come from a normal, middle class background and yes, many of them have “arrived” (whatever that means, but they make a lot of money now) but no one in their families could afford the hotel nor would they appreciate so much being spent on their dining experience because it was too extravagant.

That said, I was a little embarassed by what some of the people showed up wearing, not for the guest…but for the bride for making her guests feel so uncomfortable. One woman was literally wearing what Fiance could only describe as a “onesie” and she sat in the corner the entire reception! I overheard her uncle declining being in any pictures because he didn’t want to “mess them up for Mimi’s day” (he was wearing jeans, starched and he looked very neat but still out of place.) That broke my heart and your complaint made me think of that. Some people literally don’t have it and if they do, “fancy clothes” aren’t a priority..food and rent are. Placing sartorial demands on someone who financially can’t meet them is extremely ungracious.

Just my two cents…you asked for it.

 

Post # 94
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I have anxiety and I purposefully planned a small easy wedding. I only invited people I gave a shit about and was close enough to tell them “Hey its a daytime small wedding but the dress code of your standard wedding still applies”

I know how stress affects me so I avoided it, and had the best wedding ever. No stress at all.

Id be upset if someone wore jeans too. It just shows lack of respect for the occassion.

 

Post # 95
Member
2049 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  Let it out!!!!  I know I did.  Its better to let it out before the wedding than the day of the wedding.  😉

I had to take an extra xanax day of my wedding due to my anxiety being SOOOO bonkers.  Thankfully, I didn’t have finals or midterms though, although I am in school.

I know how ya feel!

Post # 96
Member
1485 posts
Bumble bee

I definitely don’t think you’re a b*tch at all!  I’m right there with ya girl — lots of hugs! <3

Post # 97
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Were you in my living room three nights ago??  Because I was verbally blowing sh** up at how lazy and defiant guests (on FI’s side) were being.  An elopement turned into a mid-sized affair and we’ve decided right quick that same night to skip out on all those a******s who CANT EVEN APPRECIATE A FREE PARTY/FOOD FROM US OF CELEBRATION, NO.  So, yes, Fiance and I will be partying our asses off with all the saved money by eloping again.  My fam is fine with the elopement, they even understand completely; his fam is super upset that we aren’t hosting a damn party them.  Too bad, so fking sad.  So, I hear you.  You were calm for all those other instances.  Totally relate.
 

 

Post # 98
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  In one of your previous posts, you showed pictures of your Maid/Matron of Honor with a partially shaved head, multiple tattoos, and piercings. In that post, you were so accepting of her expressing her individuality without judgment, which is an admirable trait to have. That being said, I wonder why you wouldn’t be as accepting of whatever clothing your wedding guests choose to wear.

 

Post # 103
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

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@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  I hear you.  A friend of my parents was a bitter chick because her daughter had just been arrested for selling drugs.  She wore a white dress to my wedding.  Um, what?  Really?  It really bothered me.

Post # 104
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2006

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@Chrysoberyl:  +1 much better to let it out here.  it will get better! (After the wedding is over)

Post # 105
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  I sort of had a meltdowns in the two weeks leading up to my wedding.  Between health issues, RSVP issues (which I have posts about), seamstress accidently ripping my dress, hair piece not arriving,  and other sh*t– I wasn’t into keeping my cool anymore.

 

The people who caused the RSVP right before my wedding– THEY were the ones to show up in JEANS + one of those wind-pullover thingys.  Yep, I noticed it when I was introduced to them (I hadn’t met them before the wedding)- but I was already in the throws of my wedding reception.  They stayed seated in this area of the bar anyway- not up walking around.  I figured he was the one who felt like an asshole since everyone else was dressed up, the venue was formal, etc……

 

I totally understand knowing/hearing this information and wanted to “stab” people.

But just remember (as you know) there truly IS nothing you can do to prevent it- except have a little convo with your guest and tell them what the preferred dress code it)– and don’t let it ruin your day if they are wearing jeans the day of.  A lot of people will not buy an expensive suit for one occasion- and even renting one runs a couple hundred.  I know since you’ve been introduced to this info, you’ll probably be on the look-out for this person— *do not let them ruin your day*  They are the only one who looks like an asshole.

Post # 106
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Let it OUT! You’re okay. You’ve composed yourself this long, you have to let it out at some point. My sister’s wedding was a very casual back yard wedding and she even put on the invite, “please wear jeans.” All the guys that we knew told me that since she let them wear jeans to her wedding they were never going to dress up for a wedding again. They were joking, but it always annoyed me when they told me that I should let them wear jeans to my wedding since my sister TOLD them to wear jeans to hers….I AM NOT MY SISTER! I don’t even remember what anyone was wearing to my wedding though. Haha

 

The only time I had a meltdown is when I found out that our reception venue wasn’t going to work out, and I was going to have to cut my guest list in HALF! I had a list of 300 people (which compared to a lot of wedding isn’t that much I guess…) to 150. I held myself together until I got into the car with my (then) fiance and I just BUST into tears. He started crying (I had never seen him cry like that). We figured it out. 150 guests and all.

 

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