(Closed) NO you can't wear fucking jeans to my wedding. (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 107
Member
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  One of my friends showed up to my wedding in jeans. After 6 (SIX) people told hear that was a BAD FUCKING IDEA. 

I didn’t notice, but my photog did–And intentionally made sure she was not in a SINGLE picture! Which I love him for.

Jeans are awful, you are wonderful and completely hilarious.

Post # 108
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I lost it at the title alone haha. We had a very laidback wedding, and I don’t think ANYONE wore jeans. Screw that guy.

Post # 110
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

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@BrandNewBride: : “you are wonderful and completely hilarious.”

+1000!

@creatureFromTheBlackLagoon: what BNB said above, plus, love that you embrace who you are. Great tatoo!

Post # 111
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  You’re obviously stressed, as you said, and you can’t be objective because you’re in the situation. If you think big picture, what is the worst that will happen if someone wears jeans? Well, it will be that someone wore jeans. I’ve never understood why people get so fussed about stuff like this. The day is about the marriage and jeans won’t impact your marriage, how much fun you have, or how much fun anyone else has. 

I don’t understand the logic of clothes being more important than the actual person wearing them. I could care less what people wear to my wedding so long as they are there and happy. It’s not going to ruin anything if people wear jeans and it won’t make the wedding a waste. The main pictures will be of you and your man, and probably your wedding party. I would try not to stress things you can’t control and avoid causing a lasting rift in a family over something so incredibly trivial. 

Post # 112
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@QuirkySocialite:  +1. I couldn’t agree more. Since when do clothes dictate whether or not you are deserving of attending an event? I’d take that sanctimonious attitude, skip the event I probably didn’t even want to go to anyway, and use my money on someone who respected me and not my clothes. Seriously? I’m sincerely glad my family and friends don’t behave this way. anywayyour story is SO sad. I’d never want anyone to feel I didn’t want them to share in my day or be in my pictures because they didn’t allow me to dress them. 

Post # 113
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

LOVE the new tat!

Also, I don’t think it would have been bridezilla to go off on vendors, dress sellers, etc. who Didn’t.DO.Their.Jobs!!!!!!! I would have had a mental breakdown.

Post # 114
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I have a feeling one of my brothers will try the same shit…because he did it at my younger brother’s wedding.  It was a small, intimate wedding, but he wore a FLANNEL SHIRT (second crime) and jeans.  Seriously, he’s not working but could borrow from my dad.  I know I won’t get a gift from him, and will pay for him, his wife and 4 children to be there…but if he doesn’t have formal attire packed I will tell him to stay home because this has been made clear from day 1.  I don’t care and I think people who don’t respect the day enough to dress nicely don’t deserve to be there.  Only exception is with someone who literally doesn’t know better.  Everyone I’m inviting does.

Post # 115
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Good luck with everything! Hope it turns out great.  I am sure it will.  We’re going away to get married for many reasons, one of which is because I am the anxious type so I’d probably be feeling like you by now.  

Congrats on almost being close to finished with school. I was in grad school part time while working for five years (done last spring) and WOW having school/exam/papers pressure on top of every day life can really take your edginess to a high degree. I can’t imagine dealing with all that AND the wedding stuff at the same time. 

Post # 116
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  I hope everything works out for you. I know the wedding will be great! I obviously don’t know you in real life, but you seem like a cool chick… you seem someone I’d like to hang with and listen to your rants- I love your sense of humor on your posts- even through the frustration you’re experiencing. P.S. I think women in the sciences rock!

Post # 117
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

I know my view on this will not be popular, but I think that part of being an adult is assembling a wardrobe that allows one to attend an event that requires men to wear a jacket and women to wear a dress.  (This assumes that one is not buried under mountains of medical debt or some other similar and extraordinary circumstance.)  With just a little saving, one can acquire well-made, if not trendy, pieces that can be worn to all events of this type at a thrift or consignment store for very little.  One friend of mine wears a $6 Goodwill jacket to events requiring jacket and tie.

Now if the OP was complaining that her pictures will be ruined because her guests would not be all dressed in the trendiest clothes, or that her wedding won’t be special and unique enough because her relatives will wear the same jackets/dresses they wear to other weddings, that would obviously be rude.  If she was demanding a dress code that would require guests to buy accessories, like dress gloves, that no one in her circle owns because she is throwing an event that is far more formal than her circle’s standard, she can make that choice–just as anyone has the ability to choose an expensive Destination Wedding or a child-free wedding–as long as she doesn’t complain about people declining the invite.

Some brides dream of being married on a beach.  Others dream of being married in a formal, elegant setting.  One is not more authentic or morally superior to the other.

 

Post # 118
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

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@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  I feel you sista. When my husband’s family finally decided to grace us with their presence, instead of attending the wedding of some cousin (instead of their CHILD), they dressed overly casually. His mom wore a PONCHO and khaki capri pants. Seriously. And every female member of my family thought they should wear white. Both my sisters and my step mother wore white dresses. Compete with the bride much!? Arrrggh. It’s been 8 years, and I’m still pissed, although, able to laugh about it, mostly. The important thing is, at the end of the day, you’ll be married. Deep breaths. Chocolate. 

Post # 120
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  Just want to say a few things:

1. I didn’t realize the extent of your anxiety when I commented on your previous posts. If I was unduly harsh in any way, I would like to apologize. My Fiance has anxiety – not anywhere near the extent you do – so I was commenting based off my experiences with him.

2. Let all that stress out. Seriously, just get it all out now while you can.

3. At the end of the day, you and Fiance being married is what really matters. I know you can’t shut your brain off from thinking about stuff like this. . . so maybe try to view it in a different way? For instance, maybe it’ll be a really funny story in a few years or when his Grandpa has passed (hopefully no time soon) it’ll be a nice story to remember the person he was. Maybe that isn’t a great solution, but it could be worth a try.

4. Your tattoos are gorgeous!

That is all.

Post # 121
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

If this is really that important to you, why don’t you do what nice restaurants do and get some nice jackets in a few sizes from goodwill or something and have a greeter ask the men to put on a jacket?

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