(Closed) No Young Children in Ceremony?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m assuming there’s a nursery on site?  What about something like “We’ve reserved the on-site nursery for all of our little guests under 5 years old” ?

 

Post # 4
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

hmm yeah that can be a tough one. I would tell guests that there is a nursery reserved for all children under 5. If your not a mom though, then you have never been in the situation where your child screams and screams at the sight of you leaving or the embarresment you feel when your child is crying infront of everyone. Some moms might find it offensive. I totally agree with you. Im a mom of a 1 year old and im getting married may 15 and we already have someone arranged to take him out of the ceremony if he starts to act up. I also know what its like to go somewhere and feel as though my child is being a burdon. Believe me, it dosent make the momma feel so good. So please be as understanding as possible and say super nicely that you and the groom would really really appricate it if guests took advantage of the nursery. Hopefully though the moms who dont take their kids to the nursery or their kids wont go, will have the respect for you and the groom to remove their children themselves during the ceremoney quickly, if need be.

Post # 5
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m not a mother, but I don’t think I would be comfortable if I was “required” to use a nursery.  I would personally let all the parents know before the day of the wedding that there will be a nursery on sight but I don’t think you can force them to use the nursery.  Either way, I would definitely let them know before that day – they may decide not the bring the children if they know they are not invited to the ceremony.

Post # 6
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with requiring that young children remain in the nursery during your ceremony, especially if your ceremony is going to be long and you think the little kids might get antsy.  I think it might be helpful for you to personally contact those people who do have children to let them know what you’ve decided.  We aren’t allowing children at our wedding AT ALL, and we simply called them up to let them know that our wedding was going to be adults only.  They were all very appreciative that we let them know in advance and understanding.

I get where you’re coming from: there are going to be FOUR brand new babies born within a few weeks of my wedding, one being my brand new nephew.  I of course want my SIL to be able to attend so I’m letting her bring the baby but I’m making her sit next to the door so that she can make a quick exit if the baby cries.

Post # 7
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Are youhaving ushers?  They will direct traffic at the ceremony.

You may say something like “childcare will be provided at ceremony site” on one of the enclosures or website. 

Post # 8
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That’s great that you are planning ahead. I think it’s totally acceptable to usher families to the child area right from the start.

I will never forget listening to a reading during our wedding ceremony and hearing the cry of a baby from somewhere behind me. We didn’t have children at our wedding! It was a very small wedding and we’d spoken with families beforehand and everything was set. Then I hear this baby crying and I thought I was in a nightmare. All that work, delicacy in giving people a heartfelt explaination, and organizing care, only to have someone disregard it. They waited a few minutes and he settled down, then he started up again, they waited a minute and then they went to the child seating area (back of the church, sound proofed room with speakers so they could hear the ceremony).

At most it’s probably an hour, so having a 10 minute interruption can be really upsetting. If a parent doesn’t want to sit in the specially designed seating area, what are they saying; that the risk of interrupting your day is less important than their feeling they are part of the crowd? Other guests have traveled to be there that day and then they can’t hear the couple’s vows? Really?

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