(Closed) Nobody acts excited about our wedding..

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have no advice to add but *hug*

I would have said “tell your mum how you feel” but you already have, I also would have said that perhaps she is afraid of being too excited because you might want that Destination Wedding, but you’ve already put down a deposit on a venue! Perhaps she’s afraid of taking over?

 

Post # 4
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Soon2bMrsVk:  sorry to hear this, is your older sister married?  Do you think she complained to your mum about you getting engaged while she was pregnant (which is a silly thing for her to get upset about) and your mum doesnt want to get over excited about it?  Are your parents helping out more finacially apart from the venue?  Could your mum have financial problems which she is worrying about paying but not wanting to say anything to you while you are excited about the wedding?  It is hard when people dont get excited, we have a few people who are the same with us, esp as we have been togther for a long time, living together etc.

Post # 5
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’ve felt this way too throughout the wedding planning process. Alot of people just act like weddings are a huge hassle, rather than a happy event, which is a huge letdown! But, focus on planning the wedding you and your Fiance want, maybe find some friends you can talk about it with, and there’s always the bees here Smile Congrats!

Post # 6
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you start talking about it constantly then they’ll HAVE to listen, and might become more interested. Start sending your mum & sis your ‘inspiration’ pics by email, ask their opinions. My suggestion is just engage them more. Cant say this will definitely change their attitude but at least theyll be more involved. You’re right tho, noone will care more about your wedding than you – except maybe some etiquette police on weddingbee LOL  hugs & enjoy this special time, planning ur wedding with your fiancee

Post # 7
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I gotta say too, just to maybe reassure you a bit, I don’t think anyone bought up my wedding once the whole time we were planning except the generic ‘how’s the planning’ or ‘so, what are your plans for the wedding’. We certainly didn’t talk about flowers or favours, even with mum. I bought our wedding up a lot though because i was excited to talk about it with anyone that would listen!

Post # 8
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I also felt like a lot of people weren’t particularly excited about my wedding.  My mom was pretty distance about the planning… I felt kind of bad about that.  Since the wedding is over now, she’s told me that she stepped back so I could tell her how I wanted things.  She didn’t want to be too controlling. 

This was actually super nice (she can sort of “push” me into doing things her way!) but I’d have liked to have known earlier.  I’d have ASKED her to be more involved.  Instead Mother-In-Law took a lot of the planning tasks as her own. (I was planning from a distance, both my mom and Mother-In-Law live near the wedding site, but I’m states & a time zone away.)

Since your mom has said that she DOES care about your wedding/is excited, then you should take her at her word.  Share your thoughts with her and ask for her opinion.  Ask her if she’d like to do X wedding thing with you. (Like dress shopping or cake tasting.)  When there’s somehting that she does want to do with you make sure that you are considerate of her schedule – if she works on Tuesday – Saturday, try to get an appointment on her days off (for example.)

As for your sister – you’re a mom too… you know what it’s like to have an infant.  Celebrate her baby with her. At an appropriate time, (not a baby shower or other baby event!) ask her if she would like to have a planning/BM/whatever-you’re-anticipating-for-her role in the wedding, or if she thinks she’ll be too swamped with her new bundle of joy.  And respect her decision… it’s way easier to be on good terms with family members, especially while planning a wedding.

I don’t think you ought to talk non-stop about all things wedding though.  That gets old FAST for everyone around you!

It certainly is hard when it feels that you aren’t important to loved ones, but we can’t change another person’s actions; we can only change how we react and interact with others.  If you try to involve the people who you want involved, things might just turn out closer to the way you dreamed!

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