Non-Catholic Wedding Party

posted 9 months ago in Catholic
Post # 16
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

tc3033 :  I’ve never seen anyone be forced to go through the communion line if they preferred not to. Are you talking about the wedding planner forcing you to go through during the wedding itself or just telling you to go through during the rehearsal? If it’s the latter there’s nothing the planner could do during the actual wedding to force you to go up to the priest. 

Post # 18
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

tc3033 :  I could see how some wedding planners might try to do that without thinking it through! Obviously if you’re not Catholic you shouldn’t be expected or forced to genuflect or kneel, regardless of whether it would make the wedding party all look the same. It might be something you could bring up with the bride and groom and get their feelings- if you have them on your side they can shut down any rogue wedding planners.

There’s really nothing the planner could do if you didn’t do those things during the actual ceremony, though. What’s she going to do, come running up the aisle yelling at you to kneel?

Post # 19
Member
2970 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

tc3033 :  you are likely making a mountain out of mole hill. When DH and I got married, my brother was the only practicing Catholic in our wedding party.  Who was in our wedding party was significantly more important to me than their religion.  We had a pagan and a Mormon in our party. Talk to the bride and groom, see how they want you to handle it.  If they get mad over how you handle it, obviously you aren’t close enough to be in their wedding party.  

As for sitting alone, the wedding party goes first, and it doesn’t take that long to get communion.  You will sit for 1 minute by yourself max.  No one will be paying so much attention to the wedding party that they will notice for more than the time it takes to make the observation.

If you do go up, the blessing isn’t about baptism.  Catholics and most Protestant religions have different ideas of how communion becomes the body and blood of Jesus.  Catholics believe it becomes the body and blood at the blessing, protestants believe it happens at consumption by a believer.  Because it becomes body and blood at consencration, Catholics reserve communion for Catholics.  

Post # 20
Member
486 posts
Helper bee

Yes. I’ve been to weddings in a Catholic Church where several members of the wedding party did not receive communion. I wouldn’t worry about it. The whole process usually only takes a few minutes for a Church full of parishioners. I’m sure you won’t be sitting alone for long, as wedding guests typically don’t fill the Church. Also, I’m sure many other guests will not be Catholic either and not go up for communion. 

Post # 21
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I was raised Catholic but my other is not Catholic so at church she always just stepped aside while the rest of the pew went up. I can’t remember what she has done for catholic weddings, but I imagine the same thing? The fact that I can’t remember tells you all you need to know – nobody notices or cares if someone skips out on communion.

Post # 22
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I’m an atheist and was in 2 catholic weddings for close friends. I chose to receive during one wedding out of feeling awkward and no one noticed or cared. The next one I didn’t feel awkward at all since I knew it wasn’t an issue the first time so I stayed in the pew when everyone else went up to receive. We were in the first row so they were back 30 seconds later. It wasn’t awkward that time either!

Don’t over think it, it’s 5 minutes of your life and for me one of the lesser awkward moments of the cathoic masses I was in for the weddings or throughout the years I was a catholic. 

Post # 23
Member
4452 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

No one will notice.  The last wedding I attended that had the full Mass was my cousin’s and both the bridesmaids and one of the groomsmen weren’t Catholic.  No one paid attention and did not notice at all.  Honestly there is so much attention on the bride and groom that no one will see you not going up for communion.  My husband is not Catholic and I am, but we attend a Catholic church.  He stays in the pew as I go up and it has never been an issue for him.  He definitely isn’t the only one either.

Post # 26
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee

How does a blessing invalidate a baptism?

Post # 27
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

tc3033 :  FWIW im an adult and went up and got a blessing at the vatican church (st peters) last year. The priest was suprised but I think he thought it was a fine thing for an adult to do  – he actually gave me a playful slap and then we both giggled. 

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