Post # 1
We are doing a non-denominational ceremony – I’m not religious and he is half-Jewish but doesn’t go to synagogue, etc. – and I have no idea how to begin. I don’t know how to go about finding an officiant. I was thinking of having someone I know get ordained online or whatever but I think my fam wouldn’t be down with that. Also I want the ceremony SHORT. I get major stage fright and I want to be up there as short a time as possible and say at little as possible. I don’t want a production – I just want to be married to my man!
Anyone else have the same issues? What did you do for your officiant and ceremony?
Post # 3
I am having a non-religious ceremony and I just searched wedding officiants online in my area and a bunch came up that will do your wedding YOUR way!
Its awesome – so I am assuming that is what you are looking for is someone who will just do it your way – there are plenty out there just google it!!!!
Post # 4
The internet is a great place to start. We had a religious ceremony, but I think it might be smart to start with where you are doing it. Are their any guidelines or resources from your ceremony venue? Your family might not love it, but we just went to a wedding where the bride’s brother officiated (ordained online) and it was very meaningful and sweet. Maybe if you explain it as not wanting a stranger to have such a central role, they would understand. Do you know any judges, boat captains? All kinds of people can officiate weddings. Good luck!
Post # 5
I do not want a religious ceremony either. My fiance and I are not religious people. A couple of years ago we told his cousin she could get ordained on the internet and marry us if we ever got engaged. So that is what we are doing, cause I also want a short ceremony. My mom is not super impressed with the idea, but I told her she is not the one getting married, and she backed off. It also cause some major drama in his family, his grandmother basically said she wont consider us married unless its a religious ceremony. Luckily, his aunt (mother of the girl marrying us) was able to convince the grandmother that this wedding was about what we wanted and she dropped it.
So… I say go for getting a friend or relative to get ordained on the internet! Its really easy to do and would give you a memorable wedding.
Post # 6
We did a non-denominational wedding – he is Catholic and I am Jewish. We did incorporate the candle lighting ceremony and he broke glass at the end of the ceremony. DH’s borther was our officiant, he got ordianed through the court as a deputy commisioner of marriage for the day – if you have a good friend or family member that is a good public speaker I would ask them to be your officiant, they would probably be very honored. Our ceremony lasted about 20 minutes and we had the standard processional, a welcome, the vows and exchange of rings, 2 readings and candle lighting.
Post # 7
I’m having a non religous ceremony as well and many of the offciants I’ve looked at offer that option. I have a word document (from one of my potential officiants) that is pretty much like a “build your own ceremony” thing. Message me and I’ll email it to you (if you want it!).
Post # 8
@anyc bride: Are you getting married in NYC? NYC has some restrictions, and officiants need to register with the city.
There are a lot of Celebrants and wedding officiants who will work with you to create an awesome & personal wedding ceremony. If you’re looking to work with an officiant, check out the Celebrant Foundation (http://www.celebrantinstitute.org) to find an awesome Celebrant in your area. Celebrants don’t have requirements for weddings, so it can really be as long or as short as you want it to be, and we walk you through the entire process.
Make sure you check with the laws in your area, to see if a friend can get ordained to perform the ceremony, or if they need to do anything special to be able to solemnize your marriage. If you need help writing your ceremony, there are a lot of great books that can help you out with that as well.
If you do decide to write your own ceremony, or still need some help, you can check out my posts on WeddingbeePRO too!
Post # 9
You might want to check out a Unitarian Universalist officiant. They will do whatever you all feel comfortable with. I’m crafting our UU ceremony now, and you can make it as religious or as secular as you want, there is an incredible amount of flexibility. Our officiant gave us a general order of the how the ceremony normally goes and told us to change and add or subtract whatever we’d like.
Post # 10
Just google officiants in your area. I’m in a similar situation – I was raised Christian and my fiance is Catholic, so we wanted an essentially secular ceremony with some small religious elements. I found ours by looking at who the other vendors recommended in our town, and he was also recommended by local girls on another message board.
If they are professionals and have been at it awhile, they can guide you through the process of creating a ceremony. Ours gave us about 20 pages of different readings, scriptures, poetry, etc and some sample ceremonies, and told us to cut and paste to create a starting point, then he will make suggestions if it’s too short/long or whatever. I was really impressed by how thorough our officiant is. On our first meeting, he asked what our colors were and pulled out sashes in about 10 different shades of our main color so he can coordinate his outfit 🙂