Non-minister officiant question

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t remember our officiant saying our marriage was granted by anyone (the government or God). I think he just said “I know pronounce you man and wife” or something like that. Would your fiancé be fine with that or does God need to be mentioned?

Whatever your officiant does say, I doubt any of your guests will care.

Post # 4
Member
6606 posts
Bee Keeper

Is he allowed to discuss religion based on his ordain-ment? I had a civil ceremony and our officiant was not able to say ANYTHING related to religion or god. She also sent us her “script” that we could customize but there were several sections that were bolded that we could not remove or alter at all, and I believe that section is part of it. 

Post # 5
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

My understanding is that there are some wordings that an officiant is required to say in order for there to be a legal marriage. I think it varies from state to state so I would check what the laws are where you live. It’s possible that the wording you want to avoid may be required by your state in order for your marriage to be considered valid. 

Post # 6
Member
3560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

megkate87 :  it varies from state to state what you must say. but i’ll say this: if your husband doesn’t want the marriage to be “granted by the state,” then don’t get legally married. plain and simple. you can go ahead and have a spiritual union that has nothing to do legally with the state – and you won’t need a license for that or anything. but you are CHOOSING to get legally married (presumably, he likes all the legal aspects of it from taxes, etc..?). in that case, he nees to grow up and get with the program. your marriage is a LEGAL union – so yeah, the state is literally granting the marriage. and maybe god blesses your union, but god is not granting anything. unless you went and applied to a marriage license to god and have that ready to pull out and file, god didn’t grant your marriage.

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