(Closed) Non MOH / BM aka distant friend – etiquette on cost of party planning

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m not sure I understand.

She didn’t choose any BMs but she asked you to plan her Stagette night and she also asked you to plan her reception (or afterparty?!?!).

For the Stagette night – Plan dinner and bar hopping afterwards.  Mention in the invite that you think it would be nice if everyone pitched in and helped cover the cost of the bride’s dinner.  Don’t word the invitation like “we invite you” word it more like “lets all meet up for dinner and drinks…”  I think it’s really common for friends to split the check at a Stag party, exclude the bride/groom from the split and cover their portion.  Once you hit the bars, people will buy their own drinks and will most likely start buying shots and drinks for the bride.  As the planner, you could go to Spencers and pick up a few bachelorette party fun items like a “Bachelorette” Sash and maybe some penis straw toppers (TMI?!?)

For the reception/afterparty – If this bride is asking you to plan her wedding reception then you need to have a chat with her and tell her that people pay wedding planners THOUSANDS of dollars to plan wedding receptions.  Offer to help her brainstorm centerpieces and choose linen and maybe even offer to help her with any DIY projects.  If she is asking you to plan the after party, choose a bar near the reception site/hotel and spread the word that people are meeting there for drinks after the wedding.  No one will expect that their drinks are free!

Post # 4
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

whoa.  let me get this straight.  you are planning a bachelorette party and you arent sure if you are invited to the wedding?  you are a damn good friend.  personally, if i am not invited to the wedding, i wouldnt plan a party.  i would take the bride out for drinks and maybe dinner.

as far as the reception goes, that sounds crazy?  why would she expect you to plan her wedding reception!  You mentioned that you are in Canada and your friend is in the states.  Trust me.  Your friend knows that this is completely against custom and is taking advantage of you.  Tell her its too much for you to take on, especially with the distance and tell her you’d prefer to just come as a guest.  If she says something about it being immediate family only, mention that youve never heard of bachelorette parties for weddings with no guests.

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