Post # 1
Hi! My boyfriend and I have been together for several years now and just moved in together after two years of long distance. However, we’re still young and some of those years we were in college together. Long story short, while I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I’m not anxious to get married. He’s hinted that he likes the idea of proposing on our anniversary this year, which is in November and a few months ago we talked about rings. But I’m still not sure if he is serious about this plan- we’ve done a lot of fake planning of our wedding, houses, kids names etc. without really talking about timelines.
Anyway, that is all background to say that while I don’t care if he actually does propose this year or next or the next, if he is planning on it I want to share with him some cost-saving things for buying the ring (like that I like white sapphires as much or more than diamonds and that you can get a much better deal online). I think he’d be inclined to just go to the local jewelry store and he’d spend more there than he needs to. Is there a way for me to tell him without seeming like I am pushing him to propose? So far I’ve done a pretty good job of showing him that I’m not concerned about getting engaged right away but I’m worried he won’t believe me if I talk about rings.
Post # 2
I would just mention it next time the subject comes up. For example, if one of your friends or family members gets engaged or married. People are definitely not mind readers and it’s better to be as direct as possible (otherwise you might not really get your point across). If you really would rather be nonchalant, I would just leave the page where you can find the ring up on your computer when you know he will see it. Again, chances are he will just close this page and go about his business (completely missing the message). Communication is definitely the key here and if your intention is not to be pushy, then don’t worry about how the message will be recieved. Everything will work out how it’s supposed to.
Post # 3
I think you should literally say what you wrote here: “while I don’t care if he actually does propose this year or next or the next, if he is planning on it I want to share with him some cost-saving things for buying the ring (like that I like white sapphires as much or more than diamonds and that you can get a much better deal online).”
That will work! Doesnt’ sound pushy at all
Post # 4
Mrs.N: Hii! It looks like your boyfriend isn’t averse to talking about hypothetical future plans, so it sounds like it would be ok to just bring it up with him. Say hey, I’m not sure if you were planning to propose this year and please know that if not, there’s no rush whatsoever because I’m happy with where we are now, but I was wondering if I could email you some cost-saving options that I’ve found for buying the ring when the time comes? Good luck!
Post # 5
Tell him you woke up from a bad nightmare that he gave you an ugly ring and he spent way too much money on . And then bring up the subject by saying “so now that gets me thinking,I don’t want you to spend a lot on a ring ,how about I chose Because I know more about this stuff and you decide when your ready. this was a horrible nightmare” 😉
Post # 6
When the topic is discussed again, I’d just say “babe you’ve mentioned engagement a couple of times before. I just want to tell you that whenever it is that you are ready, I would really reaaally love to show you the style of ring that makes my heart melt” . Just sweet, very open and clear info you want to share. Clarity in communication = no misunderstandings and less drama 🙂 . Good luck. Hope when the time comes, you get what you want in terms of the ring and of course, the man of your dreams!
Post # 7
To echo most of the PPs, I would suggest being honest and direct. Since he has “fake planned” lol like you say, he sounds like he would be open to your suggestions. I think all men want to get their ladies a ring she likes so any direction on your part would probably be greatly appreciated!
Post # 8
Thanks so much ladies! He doesn’t tend to do things very far in advance (lol) so I’m sure I have time to wait for it to come up naturally again before he buys anything even if he were to propose in November. I think I knew all of what you said, but I needed to hear it from someone else! Thanks.
Post # 9
Just sit down and tell him what you wrote here! The topic of engagement rings came up very naturally for FH and I once we were seriously considering marriage. If it’s a little awkward for you, make it fun by finding pictures of really hideous rings (seriously, there are a lot out there) to show each other, as well as throwing in a touch of what you really like. We sent back and forth ridiculous pictures of rings all the time and it was a blast, but also led to discussions about things we liked/didn’t like/etc.
Post # 10
Mrs.N: I was just looking at white sapphire in a jewelry store the other day, and wondering why more women don’t go with it instead of diamonds. It is so beautiful!