(Closed) Non Religious bees, how did you pick your wedding officiant?

posted 8 years ago in Secular
Post # 17
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Brother-In-Law (sister’s husband) is marrying us. I performed his wedding to my sister, so I like the full-circle way of it 🙂  It’s very easy to get ordained online, and there are lots of resources to help write the ceremony text the way you want it. As long as the officiant doesn’t have stage fright, it is a really wonderful and personal way to get married!!! My father is also ordained and has performed two weddings for close friends … so we keep joking it’s now the family business.

Just make sure you pick a friend or relative who will be able to loudly and clearly read their speech (they certainly don’t have to memorize it) without getting too terribly nervous, and it will be great!  Anyone who was in plays in high school or does a lot of public speaking for their job should do fine.

It was such a treat to be the one to declare my sister to be married 🙂

Post # 18
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Our wedding officiant was the tie for Best Man. Smile

Post # 19
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We’re asking his brother in law. He has the same mentality as us when it comes to weddings, with the same sense of humor. we just realized he was the perfect fit.

Post # 20
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

similar to mypinkshoes.


looked online, emailed, judged them from their responses, met one and liked her a lot. She is actually a Minister at some kind of new religion multi/non denominational church around here, but she does secular ceremonies too.

Post # 21
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m hoping a good friend of mine will do it although, Fi isn;t convinced he’s the right choice yet. Also, I haven’t aked my friend yet, but I think he’ll be down. It’s been hard trying to think of someone since I have criteria:

  • someone close to either Fi or myself, but not so close that they might get overly emotional during ceremony
  • Bilingual (spanish)
  • articulate
  • reliable/responsible
  • won’t interject their own religious or political views into the ceremony
  • preferably someone currently in a “successful” marriage
  • photographs well (<–ridiculous, I know)

Post # 22
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My dad is ordained, he’s going to do it. He has already married one of my step-brothers, and one of my cousins.

Post # 23
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

One of my best friends is a notary, and in Florida notaries are certified to perform ceremonies. It was perfect for her to do it for us. She even picked up a beautiful album, put my favorite dating picture of hubby and I in the cover. The inside of the album was our entire ceremony typed out. This she used to read from during the ceremony then was given to us as a gift afterwards.

I thought it was amazing.

Post # 24
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

mine’s a friend

Post # 25
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We asked google for “nondenominational wedding officiant washington dc” and went sorting through the list. As a PP mentioned, we skipped over anyone who didn’t specifically say they would o same-sex marriages on their website; we are not gay but we are also extremely secular, and we figured we’d have a more tolerant and open-minded officiant if we sought out someone who supports gay marriage.

After that, we just checked out their websites, and we did an interview. The first one we tried, we REALLY liked, and she’s been a gem so far :).

I’m happy to provide her name to DC-area couples, just PM me.

Post # 26
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We’re self-uniting and having close friends help emcee the event. I would recommend Googling for secular celebrants in your area.

Post # 27
187 posts
Blushing bee

My dad’s best friend who I’ve known my entire life is going to be our officiant.  He is an attorney but is legally ordained to perform wedding ceremonies.

Post # 28
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We’re having a very close friend ordained. He’s great with words and will do a fantastic job. Fiance has known him since first grade, and I’ve known him since high school. 

Post # 29
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We are having a good friend of ours officiate. He got ordained online for free. I wrote the majority of the ceremony, but did get FI’s input, and then we gave it to our friend to add his personal touches. It means so much more to us to have someone we care about and who knows us perform our ceremony. And it’s a huge $$$ save. ALthough we will be getting our friend a very nice gift for doing this for us.

Post # 30
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@CheapoBride:  First, I had looked for wedding officiants online. Once we booked our venue I asked the coordinator for recommendations and the one I thought looked best online was the one that our coordinator highly recommended. We spoke the officiant on the phone and liked him a lot, so I sent the deposit.  He was previously a Methodist minister, but now has his own congregation. He was willing to make the ceremony as religious or non-religious as we wanted. He did an amazing job the day of our wedding!

Post # 31
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We had one of our closest friends get ordained online to perform our ceremony. It made the whole process SO much easier, and I got to write and personalize the whole thing. So easy!

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