(Closed) Non Religious bees, how did you pick your wedding officiant?

posted 8 years ago in Secular
Post # 47
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My fiance is active in an organization called the ManKind Project, and he chose someone who he was really close to within the organization and who he looks up to and regularly discusses spirtual matters with, in a non religious sense that it. I am also active in MKP to the extent I can be (it is an organization that caters towards men) and also in similiar organizations that have developed for women, and was a friend of our officiant before(well as much as possible as he is quite a bit older then us), and we attended his wedding not too long ago and loved the setup of their ceremony.

We just met with him for the first time about a month ago, and while he’s never formally officiated before, he did ask us some very good questions that got us thinking but in the end made us sure we want to go forward with marriage ๐Ÿ™‚

He recommended a great book as well, we love it, it is called “The 5 love languages”. I highly recommend for anyone getting married or who is already married ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 48
Member
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was looking through celebrants in the phone book and saw the name of someone that I knew growing up, so gave them a call. My sister went to school with her daughter and we’d kinda lost touch after my sister finished school, so she was ecstatic to get back in touch and be asked to officiate our wedding.

Post # 49
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My Fiance and I are not very religious either but his family is Catholic and my family are Non-Denominational. We tossed ideas about having a friend/family member officiate the wedding but in the end we got a Non-Denominational Minister (a friend of his sister’s) who offered to do the ceremony for free. His Mom wanted our ceremony to be Catholic and I was very against that but did agree to have a Non-Denomination Minister perform it. I am not against the belief in God but I do draw the line at uniformed religions so this was a compromise.

Post # 50
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My Fiance and I are both athiests.  That being said, we are having a rabbi marry us.  Backstory:Fiance has a religious studies minor from college.  He took a bunch of classes from a professor who, even though he is religious, he respects VERY much.  I took a class from him as well and I respect this man a great deal as well.  This man officiates all manner of weddings (with the exception that he wil not perform marriage cerimonies between a person of the Jewish faith and a person of another religion.  His point is actually quite valid, but I digress) and has no problem officiating a secular wedding.  

We got really lucky, otherwise I am not sure what our course of action would have been otherwise.  It was important to my Fiance and I that our officiant knows and has a personal relationship with us, otherwise we felt it was just wierd for both of us.

Best of luck though!

Post # 51
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We considered having a friend/relative getting ordained for us, but with all the stress of planning a destination wedding, we were afraid of – despite my extensive googling – some legal hitch at the last minute screwing things up.

I googled some for-hire officiants in St Louis and found one for $100 who could do what we wanted. All the communication I had with his coordinator felt good, and I was happy to book ๐Ÿ™‚

So, if you’re worried about having someone ordained – or just don’t have anyone you want – don’t hesitate to contact some officiants in your area and see what they have to offer.

Post # 52
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My husband and I are also not religious.  He is atheist and I don’t know what I am, so we knew we didn’t really want a religious ceremony.  However, one of my good friends is an ordained minister (not online – she went to an actual seminary), and I asked her to marry us.  We told her we understood if she felt like she couldn’t because we also asked her to keep god/jesus out of it as much as possible.  There were some definite mentions of god here or there, but she made the ceremony (which was very short) about us and our relationship.

Post # 53
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We are having my dad’s friend officiate. We were considering asking my dad’s “brother”, my “uncle” (really close friend), who we already invited, but decided that we would rather have him enjoy the day. The man who is officiating has been friends with my dad since high school, and my stepmom through acting for a long time, and so I have seen him every few years of my life when I am around any they get together. So I kind of know him and won’t feel awkward with a stranger, but I won’t feel bad that he isn’t seated with the guests and we are having a small wedding so we weren’t going to invite my dad’s friends anyway. We are still in the process of working out the details ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 54
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It is important to note, also, that while our officiant is studying to become a minister, that is kind of beside the point for us as we are not religious in that way, and we are already married.

Post # 55
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I know two people who got their officiants from the yellow pages. One was secular and one was not. My former boss also married a coworker of mine, because he had a license to do so.

 

 

Post # 56
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

A few other vendors told me abou her. She is also listed in the not.

Post # 57
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We are having my brother get ordained online to marry us.  He has to apply online the month of the wedding and it allows him to only marry us and no one else for that one day out of the year.  He was really touched and honored to be asked.  We are giving him free range to come up with what to say at the ceremony and we know it will be heartfelt and meaningful!

Post # 58
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We had a good friend marry us. I don’t remember exactly how the idea occurred to us at first, but Darling Husband and I were both immediately enthusiastic about it. And he did an amazing job and made our ceremony so personal.

Post # 59
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - ceremony at a gazebo outside, reception at neighboring restaurant on a lake

We are athiest.  My father in law married us and it went great!  We did two meaningful readings, and he did a short talk that he tailored to us about marriage and our love.  It was beautiful.  We did traditional vows and I cried through the whole thing! 

We had looked for local humanists, but ended up going with my Father-In-Law although I had found a seemingly excellent humanist with no religious affilation to marry us that was not far away and reasonably priced.

Post # 60
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

This is what I’m having trouble with now.  I’m having my wedding at the Outer Banks, and there are no humanists nearby.  North Carolina seems to frown on online ordinations, so having a friend or relative do it is out.  I absolutely do not want religion in the ceremony, but my FH is fine with it even though he’s not religious either!  ksadjdjlsd.  I knew there was a reason I was trying to get away from that place, but where I live now definitely isn’t any better. 

Post # 61
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - ceremony at a gazebo outside, reception at neighboring restaurant on a lake

 @kittyfinn:  do they just frown upon it and it is still legal?  As long as it’s legal do it!  

 I found this online:

http://outerbanksweddingminister.com/

She apparently does non-religious ceremonies.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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