Post # 1
My Fiance and I were talking earlier about our wedding. I was feeling kind of down because he really isn’t particularly excited about the wedding. His reasoning is that marriage is mostly for religious reasons. I am not particulary religious, and Fiance is agnostic. However, a wedding is about much more than religion to me. The problem is, I couldn’t really put into words WHY it is so important to me.
In his eyes, we are already “married.” He loves me. We live together. He is faithful to me and he plans on being with me forever. He says he doesn’t need a piece of paper to show he is committed to me for the rest of our lives.
I totally get that. However, it means a lot to me to get up in front of our friends and family and profess our love to each other. I love that we are celebrating our love with those we love. However, it still means more to me than that. I just can’t articulate it for some reason!
So, what does marriage “mean” to you?
Post # 3
It means being a team in everything, knowing that you always have a partner throughout life. No matter how bad it gets, they will always be by your side, fighting in the trenchs with you.
And yeah, I’ve thought long and hard about the “its just a piece of paper” thing. Its not. That piece of paper means that in order to get out of it, you have to fight like hell. It means that you want to legally bind yourself to that person, acquiring their debts and successes, and be one with them, in the financial sense.
To some, buying a house and taking out joint debt is enough, but this is just another layer of permanence to it. To me, anyway
(I’ve had some time recently to reflect on this, and how awesome my husband is)
Post # 4
To me, marriage means that we have decided to become a team, to navigate life together. By marrying each other, we are making a serious promise to place a very high value on the success of our team, to support, love, and encourage each other, to choose to make personal sacrifices for the good of our team, and to help each other accomplish our goals. Our wedding is a way of making these intentions known and giving ourselves some accountability. It also functions, however, as a celebration of our love and having found someone we want to commit to in this way. When gay marriage becomes legal, it is important for us to have the legal component as well, in order to better protect our relationship and our family.
Post # 5
@MrsSl82be: Beautiful response!
Post # 6
For me it’s the very real, legally enforcable commitment. It’s easy to say “I’m totally committed to you”, but, to me, marriage solidifies that commitment and a wedding demonstrates it to all of your family and friends.
Post # 7
A commitment to stay together. (In as few words as possible!)
Post # 8
@moonadea: Oh, why can’t I be as wonderfully articulate as you?!
You two have said everything I feel, but couldn’t find the words to say 🙂
Post # 9
Having been married before, you never really appreciate the legality of marriage until you’ve seen what it can mean. In addition to the way the state looks at us, it also means that, socially, we have a very permanent commitment which also matters.
Of course, this is in addition to make vows to each other….
Post # 10
The wedding and marriage were for us to express our love and commitment to everyone we care about. It was a day to celebrate joy and our family and friends. We had the wedding to make our commitement official and it was just that one more step to keep us accountable to what we promised.
I appreciate common law relationships, I was in one. But since getting married, something very subtle changed. It’s like we entered a secret club, everyone took us more seriously and it just seems that much more secure and cozy.
Very hard to put into words.
Post # 11
I am going to let him read all these responses 🙂
Post # 12
To me it means making a pact to stick together through everything! It’s making a public comitment to eachother, and a wedding is the celebration of two families coming together. You may not need a piece of paper to feel like your married, but there is something really “official” about proclaiming your love for eachother in public… and vowing infront of family and friends that you are going to be together no matter what. 🙂
Post # 13
It means you’ve said “I’m not going to just bail and walk away when things get tough” and have put your money where your mouth is (so to speak) by making a legally binding agreement.
Post # 14
@KatyElle: I love the way you put it.
Post # 15
I asked my Fiance just now what it means to him. He said for him, it’s another level of devotion and commitment. It’s showing the rest of the world how much he loves me. And showing them the seriousness in his commitment to me.
This comes from a guy who was divorced 9 years ago and swore he’d never get married again. 🙂
Post # 16
Are we talking the ‘wedding’ or ‘marriage’? Because they are two different things entirely.
Marriage is a legally binding contract to say ‘We’re going to do this forever.” It’s choosing that one person as your mate, as the person you’d like to grow old with. I’ve seen all kinds of ‘marriages.’ There are passionate ones and there are ones that are little more than two friends navigating the world and raising children together. Both are valid.
From wiki: “Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship”
I think that says it pretty well, actually.
For me emotionally? It’s a promise that the relationship means enough to make it work over and overagain if need be. It’s a wonderful partnership.
A wedding? It’s a great occasion to celebrate a marriage and make it official. It’s a joining of families. It’s a public announcement of love, committment and partnership.