(Closed) non-religious pre-marital counseling?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
8483 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@kittyfinn:  Commenting to follow. One of FI’s religious friends is going to do our ceremony for free (we’re just paying for his gas for the ride here) but his one condition is that we do pre-marital counseling. I dont go to church though, and Fiance hasnt been to his in forever.

Post # 4
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i don’t know about other churches, but the pre-marital counseling we did thru our church, was not free. it was $50 a couple for a one day session. if you did weekly sessions or a weekend retreat it was more expensive.

we had to go thru 2 sets of pre-marital counseling/classes- one for the church and one for the military base where my husband is stationed. and they were both basically the same thing. the only difference was that we started the church class with a prayer. other than that, it wasn’t religious at all.

i’m not trying to turn anyone into a church-going christian or anything, i swear, lol. i’m just throwing this out there because i think some people assume that when you go to pre-marital counseling thru a church, you spend the whole day praying and talking to a priest, and that’s not how it works (at least in my experience). real married couples speak about the ups and downs of their marriages, how they got thru the tough times, we had workbooks (which we still have and read thru occasionally), etc.

do you know anyone who went thru pre-marital counseling thru a church? maybe they can refer you to someone (or a couple) who would be willing to meet with you guys away from the whole religious/church setting? this way you’ll be getting couseling from someone who has experience (but isn’t necessarily a professional counselor), but you won’t have to pay an arm and a leg for it.

i hope this helps!

Post # 5
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Fiance is vehemently against any and all religion, and I’m a pagan.  So we’re obviously not going the church route.  We’re actually going in to see a financial advisor since we’re renting together now but are currently saving for a house and want some direction on our 401s, etc. 

Also, I’m not sure that the religious idea of marriage is all that different than the secular idea.  I mean, we’re exchanging vows, rings in front of our friends and family.  But that’s not the point.

I happen to like http://www.lovethegrows.com/2012/11/questions-you-should-ask-before-marriage.html.  I’d give him a copy and let him look at it, tell him you want to talk about certain sections (don’t try to go through 100 at once) and schedule a time to sit down and talk about it.  Get a bottle of wine, some snacks and discuss.  There’s no wrong answers, and knowing what areas you need to work on will help you get some direction on the type of counselor you need.

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