Post # 1
My fiance and I are looking for a great premarital counseling book that is non-religious. We’re opting for a book because we are long distance right now, so the logistics of going to a counselor are difficult. We would prefer an educated author with high degrees in counsel. Has anyone had success with a book? If so, point us in the right direction. Thank you!
Post # 3
I swear by John Gottman’s work. He and his wife have been working with couples for decades and all of his work is research based, not religious. He trains therapists to do counseling in that style, and I can honestly say that that style of counseling saved our relationship. However, you can also each get a copy of one of his books and read it together. “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” is a great, great resource and I can’t recommend it highly enough.
Here’s his general website: http://www.gottman.com/
Another great book for us was “The Way of Transitions” by William Bridges. His background is in organizational change, but when his wife died he starting applying all of the research to relationships. This was a really great book, particularly if you’ve had problems in the relationship that you’re both wanting and trying to get past.
Post # 4
I was coming in to suggest John Gottman as well. VERY research based.
I can’t remember if it had any religious references in it (if it did, I was easily able to overlook them), but I also HIGHLY recommend The 5 Love Languages.
I do know of counselors that do counseling via Skype, even if you two are in two different locations. Now, I know the couple themselves is Evangelical Christian, but we are agnostic/atheist and contacted them and didn’t get the sense that there would be any issue using them. We ended up working with someone locally, but if we’d been long distance, I would have for sure worked with these folks – http://preengaged.com/counseling-services/premarital-counseling/ They seemed really compassionate and educated, even though they have a religious twist on their own personal views.
Post # 5
Great topic. I’m always interested in non-religious suggestions since it really seems the market is saturated in religious books. I’ve heard great things on Gottman. Need to check him out!
Post # 6
Not sure of the author but a friend leant a book called “Before we say I do” that’s got some great stuff in it.
Post # 7
Ahhh! So many great replies! I can’t thanenough all enough. 🙂
Post # 8
We have been having a nice time reading “Communication Miracles” by Johnathon Robinson… it’s more for our communication skills (duh) but we found it reduced the stress in our relationship from those problems so much!
I will also look into the other books for us… good suggestions!
Post # 9
I was given a copy of a book by the woman who wrote Eat Pray Love about her marriage experience. She HAD to marry the guy from the end of her first book as his tourist visa was revoked. The book is both that story and her research into the institution of marriage.
I think it was called “Committed.”
Post # 10
Yes, Gilbert’s follow up to Eat Pray Love is called Committed. It’s a cute book to read, but I wouldn’t catagorize it as a premarital counseling book at all.
Post # 11
There’s a great section of things to discuss before getting married in the Practical Wedding book. I also would recommend the Love Languages book — it has a bit of a religious overtone, but that wasn’t the point, so it didn’t bother me!