Post # 1
Hi everyone! We would like to have a secular ceremony and I’m trying to find some non-religious traditions. I’ve read a bit about handfasting, but I wanted to see if any of you all had experience/knowledge/references for other options out there. I think we’ll likely have a couple of readings, but I still want there to be some sort of ceremony feeling-something to mark the transition (although we’ll have been together for 10 years by our wedding day).
Thanks in advance!
Oh! If anyone has cultural traditions to suggest, he’s Irish/Polish/German/Italian and I’m German/Scottish/French/English.
Post # 3
Someone on here had a really cute beer mixing ceremony in lieu of the sand mixing ceremony. They had bottles of (the same, obviously) beer and poured their beer bottles into a chalice and then each drank from it. This could go very well with your shared German/UK heritages. You could even mix different beers as there are some good mixed beer drinks, like a black and tan, or a snakebite (usually a lambic with a dark beer I think).
There are all kinds of variations on the unity candle/sand mixing ceremony.
Oh also, wine box ceremonies are very cool.
Post # 4
Post # 5
I’ve read about people doing a salt thing–I think they call it a salt covenant? Mixing two kinds of salt, or salt and pepper, much like a sand ceremony but more useful after the fact.
I jokingly told my mom that my partner and I were going to do a gin and tonic ceremony–now I’m thinking it’s not a bad idea. 🙂
Post # 6
Most of the “cultural” traditions aren’t secular – they’re just from pre-Christian religions in those cultures.
But most of the modern unity ceremonies have no particular faith basis: candles, sand, etc.
Post # 7
@mholden: lol a gin and tonic ceremony. I’ll take SoCo and lime please
@ProfessorGirl: You’re right. Almost all traditions we have, at least around weddings, are from some type of religion. Good point that a lot of modern ones aren’t from particular faiths. I’ll have to keep that in mind so I don’t nix something that could be really nice. I think it’ll come down to the wording around the ceremony in the end. And how cult like it feels haha. Anything with drinking is a little too red kool-aid for me.
Post # 8
My fiance and I are doing a blood oath.
Yes, I’m serious.
Post # 9
Alcohol has already been mentioned here, I know, but what I’ve read about (and might like to do myself) a cocktail ceremony. Cocktails are almost always made up of liquors that go together anyway, so with a little planning it’ll taste good and look great.
Post # 10
@furnituregirl: Whoa that is really cool… but I’m not really sure what that consists of. Me and Fiance would soooo do something like that, can you tell me what exactly you’re going to do so I can shamelessly think about stealing your idea?
Post # 11
Steal away! It was cool. We got ahold of a couple of those lancets they use when you get a blood test (you know, the ones where they push down on a button of sorts and it cleanly pricks your finger). We know a couple of nurses who “picked them up” for us, otherwise I have no advice on how to gather them lol. You could also use a small sterilized needle. Anyway the best man kept them in his pocket and produced them at the appropriate time… here is how the ceremony went verbally:
Traditionally, couples wear wedding bands, showing the world that they each belong to the other. But the commitment of marriage is internal, a relationship that will belong solely to [groom] and [bride]. For this reason, they have chosen to add a ceremony that honors this impalpable bond.
[Groom] and [Bride], please prick each other’s fingers.
[they prick and touch fingers]
Now repeat after me in unison:
As long as blood flows in my veins, I will carry you with me, and keep you in my heart.
Our fingers didn’t happen to bleed very much, but it might be a good idea to have a cotton ball or small band-aid on hand 😉 everyone loved it!!