Non-South Asian Bride, Mehendi?

posted 3 years ago in South Asian
  • poll: Should I have Mehendi done?
    Yes : (11 votes)
    61 %
    No : (7 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    530 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m not Indian but South Asian and I would find no problem with other brides doing mehndi on their hands. I’m assuming you’re not wearing a sari at your wedding, so I don’t think this is offensive in any way at all.

    Personally, I never liked mehndi except for the process of applying it/making designs, so for me it was always just something done for fun.

    But I think it’s pretty cool that others like parts of our culture!

    By the way, you look beautiful in the sari!

    Post # 3
    Member
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I was at the mall yesterday and saw a kiosk for mehendi. The Indian woman didn’t care one bit about cultural appropriation, she was excited and happy to see her culture and artwork being shown to the world. It’s really beautiful!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1362 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

    It’s a little weird to me (I’m South Asian American and I don’t even like mehndhi lol), but honestly henna is so commonplace now that as long as it’s not elaborate I think it’s fine πŸ™‚

    I wouldn’t go through the trouble of hiring anyone though, just go to a couple of Indian stores and ask for some henna cones and do it yourself (buy a few practice cones) or ask a friend with a steady hand/artistic.

    Post # 6
    Member
    998 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Yes I think you can! I don’t think anyone would consider it appropriation since you have ties to the custom and a meaning behind it! I love henna and loved having it for an Indian gf’s wedding also… go for it!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m southeast Asian, and I think it’s inappropriate. I’m sure you’re going to do whatever you want anyway though. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee

    As a part south asian, I think as long as you understand and respect the cultural significance of the tradition, then it’s ok to partake. That is the difference between appropriation and appreciation.

    Post # 10
    Member
    530 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    samantha83 :  It’s okay. You don’t need to justify yourself. Some people will be offended by anything.

    As long as you don’t disrespect a culture or arbitrarily adapt something from it (neither of which you’re doing here), I don’t see how it could be reasonably offensive.

    Your family and friends know about this special time of your life, so they’ll understand the meaning. You don’t have to explain it to others.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee

    If you have to question whether it is cultural appropriation, then it probably is.

    Post # 12
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee

    I am white and will be having henna done; my fiance is Indian though. I have wondered about cultural appropriation as well, although his family really likes me to wear Indian clothing while participating in their traditions and seem to have no qualms about it. His family friends as well have been very welcoming and inclusive. I’m sorry I don’t have an answer for you. Will there be any Indian guests at your wedding? Maybe you could ask them what they think would be best.

    Post # 13
    Member
    472 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    samantha83 :  Interesting question about the Nepali wedding you went to. The bride could have been Christian, or since the groom was Polish, they would have had a Christian ceremony in Nepal. They could have even had 2 ceremonies and invited you to only the Christian one – too many variables are at stake here. There’s also a strong chance that she just likes Western weddings and think white dresses look beautiful because that’s what she’s seen as the “white ideal of beauty” in the media, which is sad but as someone South Asian who sometimes really wishes I could have worn a western dress for my reception, I can see how she might want that style of wedding. Lastly, the white for mourning is only for Hindus – a lot of Nepali people are either Bhuddist or Muslim, If I recall correctly! They may not follow that. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    340 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    MRSsrm85 :  

    I’m southeast Asian and I don’t find it inappropriate. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    malayna :  Wow, this was almost a year ago. Just because it’s ok with you doesn’t mean it’s ok with everyone else. Way to gaslight. 

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