(Closed) Non-Traditional Girls Support Group

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
Post # 35
1159 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@strawbs:  Your #3 is probably how my “reception” will be at a restaurant. And then the next day possibly a bbq for a larger number of people. Other non-traditional things would be..

1. no engagement party

2. no save the dates (even though this is a new tradition anyway)

3. no registry

4. no bridal shower or bachelorette as far as I know

5. possibly no friends at the ceremony (the next day they’d be invited though)

6. no coordinator…seeing as how I started planning a traditional wedding at first, I had a friend of the family coordinating. But she was too overbearing and hard to work with, so she’s been let go. 


Post # 36
3352 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Galang_Gyal:  I didn’t have an engagement party, no save the dates, no registry either lol. I did have a bachelorette party but that was my MOH’s plan, not mine.

Post # 37
49 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

Thank you for this post! Our wedding is in 2 weeks and I have been second guessing some of our decisions. No veil, no train, short dress. No sit down dinner (though plenty of food). Short nonreligious ceremony rolling right into the party. Seeing eachother beforehand (we live together, it’s ridiculous not to), not taking his name. No garter or bouquet toss. No father-daughter or mother-son dance. It will still be a super fun and memorable day! I am going to shrug off all of the criticism. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 39
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@arborlon:  My Fiance wanted 5 groomsmen also.  I’m not close to that many girls, so I’m having 3 bridesmaids and 2 bridesguys.

Don’t know on dress yet, but not looking for a “wedding” dress.  I just want to wear an amazing dress that is fun. 

Making my flowers.

Dessert table, hate being told what kind of cake to eat.

um… no church wedding

Don’t know after that.

Post # 40
291 posts
Helper bee

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@Olivetobe:  I told my SO that we’ve lived together for three years, why wouldn’t we see each other beforehand and stay together the night before? We hate not sleeping together. Why change that the night before such an important day?

Post # 41
291 posts
Helper bee

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@rbabynorton:  excited to see your ring! And I love the idea of a Sunday wedding. We love walking around cities on Sunday mornings. Just has a different vibe – like you’re getting something special that others don’t often get to see!

Post # 43
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Thanks for this post!

I am not traditional~at all.

No proposal story.  We just started talking about getting married.  And then he started asking me about a ring….and said something like, “I will get you the biggest diamond I can”  And I said NO!  I was engaged once before.  Got a diamond.  Have 4 diamonds (including that one)from family members.  Do not want a diamond.  I am different.  And want something different.

So, I told him that I would pick out(and even purchase)my own stone….and he would do the rest.  I don’t have my ring yet….but it will be a beautiful Chrysoberyl.  I saw the stone and loved it!


We are both Catholic.  I don’t want a big wedding.  Just a small, intimate gathering. Just the ceremony~no big church wedding.

I will be making my own cake(he is not keen on this idea~thinks it will be too stressfull)~but I used to make wedding cakes for a living.  And I know what I want and I know I can do it.

I will not be changing my last name.  My Dad gave it to me….and I lost him in 2007.  I will never change my name.

I want a very simple, white dress.  Nothing poofy, bridal or princess looking.

Nobody will be walking me down the aisle.  Since my Dad is not here and nobody can take his place.

There will be NO “Chicken Dance”, line dancing, etc.

No strange traditions like: glasses clink to kiss.  Nope.  I will kiss him when I want to.  Throwing the boquest and garter(we will have a scavenger hunt)and whoever gets it, gets it.  There will be no “put the garter on some women you never met” deal.

Love that there are so many non traditional brides out there!


Post # 44
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

1. no proposal plus we live together

2. no bridal party

3. intimate ceremony will have like 15 guests, mostly family

4. no veil, no overly bridal dress 

5. i picked out my own ring. 

6. i will however have a flower girl! an excuse to dress my daughter up ๐Ÿ™‚ 

as for a wedding i seriously just want to have a short ceremony and eat a lot of delicious food after. I would like a cake but no dancing, bouquet toss, or ridiculous games. Im more excited about the photography than anything. 

Post # 45
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

OMG, we had just about the least traditional wedding you could imagine. Fortunately, our families were very accepting of our non-traditionalness, but I found that for those who were not, it was very useful to have quick, confident sentence or two that framed our decision in a positive light. For example: “Fiance and I are very excited about creating a wedding that reflects who we are as a couple. We view it as our first project as a married couple!” The more you own your decision, the less people will feel comfortable about criticizing you for it–and the more comfortable/confident they will be in your decision.

And in case you’re wondering from “as far from tradition as you get” looks like, here are some highlights:

*outdoor wedding/reception at a picnic site in a park. no power. only port a potties! gasp!

*our wedding started with a human rube goldberg machine

*we walked simultaneously through a labyrinth of people to each other, rather than walking down an aisle

*we created the ceremony from scratch, and rather than having a portion where the parents gave us away, we had them each present a piece of rope that was symbolic of their connection with us, and then tied the ropes together to form a lasso around us

*there was a portion where everyone lay hands on us

*the food came with a story that was symbolic of our relationship

*at the reception (same place that the ceremony was held, all outdoors), we had little “art stations” with interactive activities for guests

*friends & family wrote us plays inspired by our union and performed some of them for us

*there was a hula hoop station and a makeshift bowling alley where we filled traditional household objects with confetti and smashed them with the bowling ball onto sticky paper. The concept was that the guests, along with us, were “smashing” traditional notions of marriage–and creating something beautiful out of that

*we had contra dancing at our wedding

*when the wedding was over (aka when it started to get dark, since we didn’t have access to power in the park), our guests helped us clean up the park & pack everything away

…and that’s just the tip of the iceberg! It was a magical, glorious day, and SO MUCH MORE MEANINGFUL to us AND the guests than any cookie-cutter church wedding would have been. Don’t let anybody make you feel less-than for wanting to do things your way. Stick to your vision and it will be glorious!

ETA: Also! We combined our last names and we didn’t have a bridesmaids/groomsmen. Instead, we asked our closest friends to perform specific tasks in the ceremony & at the wedding.

Post # 46
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so happy I found this thread!!!  I have totally embraced the non-traditional-ness of our wedding and can’t imagine myself ever having a “cookie cutter” wedding.

It does get hard to explain when people ask about our wedding plans and our answers are not what they were expecting.  So many people can’t think outside of the typical wedding box.

1. Long (28 month) engagement.

2. Small wedding (25-30) people.

3. NO bridal party.

4. Simple outdoor ceremony; NO religious references; NO “unity” ceremony; NO readings of any kind whatsoever; NO decorations.

5. Underwhelming proposal (but I don’t care!).

6. No engagement party, bachelor/ette parties, bridal showers, or anything like that.

7. No limos or fancy transportation.

8. No registries.

9. I did 100% of my dress shopping with fiance. I couldn’t believe all the reactions I got – everyone was FLOORED.  They could not understand why I would do something so crazy. Nooooo!!! It’s bad luck!!!!  But the best part? He was the one who actually found and pulled the dress I ultimately ended up picking. This fact alone makes me love my dress so much.

10. Relaxed dinner reception with some dancing… but NONE of the typical party music that you hear at every. single. wedding. like “Cupid Shuffle” and “Single Ladies.” Instead it’ll be contemporary country and some light rock.

11. NO ‘grand entrance’ DJ annoucment.

12. No bouquet or garter toss.

13. After dinner and cake, we’re having a bonfire outside with coolers full of beer and a s’mores bar. I feel like this is going to be my favorite part of the reception, to just hang around the fire with everyone, joke and chit chat, and take in the day.

14. No official “theme” or “colors.”  The theme is all the things we like together in one place on our wedding day.



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