Post # 17
Now this is what I want to start hearing more of in the future :o)
Absolutely agreed. If you have a reason to want to change your last name, I have all the respect in the world for that. But to do it because “that’s what people have always done” makes me think that person is a tool. I know a girl who got married at 18 to a guy she knew 8 months (yikes), and she LOVED her maiden name, and it sounded perfect with her firsrt name. But she chose to change it to his (which sounds sort of silly with hers, tbh) just to “honour his family” or whatever. That, I cannot respect – if you have to make a major social change to honour him, why doesn’t he have to do that for you? It’s one-sided.
Anyway, sorry for that rant! What I meant to say is there are good reasons to want to change your name to your man’s name, but to follow a patriarchal tradition is not one of them.
When I said we were going to make up a “random” name it wasn’t exactly random (but would seem so unless people knew my man well) – he has 2 middle names, so he was going to drop his surname and take his 2nd middle name. And I LOVE the sound of his second middle name with both of our names, The only problem with that is we’re both businesspeople who already have business cards in our current names, and I have clients I have to deal with daily who know me by my current name, So to completely take away my maiden name, even though I kind of hate it, may not be a great business move for me. But now reading about the inconvenience of hyphenated names, I am really torn!
Post # 18
I know a couple who was planning on doing a lot of missionary work in Spanish speaking countries. They chose a last name that meant “outsiders” in Spanish. They both adopted the last name and are really excited about it.
Post # 19
rachiecakes DH took my name. He loves it. It is pretty cool 😉
Post # 20
What I want to do is to have boy change his last name from his father’s (a rather distinctive name that in no way hyphenates well with mine) to his late mom’s last name (currently his middle name, but he also uses it for writing).
Then I would keep my last name and the kids would be MyLast-HisLast.
The problem is, he doesn’t want to have to tell his family he is changing his last name. His dad got a little upset when I joked he should change his to mine.
Post # 21
If he used the other one… why not?
It’s like men feel they MUST pass a name on!
When I say my BF he could ALWAYS take MY last name (which is WAY cooler than his I might add) everyone just assumes I’m joking… but why should I be?
Once I explained to the BF that women changed their name because historically women do not have identities (the become a vessel of their husbands) ex. Mr. & Mrs. John Smith… he realized why I may have trouble with the though of changing my identity.
Of course, that’s not the REASON we do it now… but subconsciously it’s why we still expect it to happen. I DO LOVE that taking your husband’s last name is almnost the COUNTER culture now 😉
When my BFF got married she took her husband’s last name but pronounced it differently, hahah.