Non traditional proposal stories? Or non proposals

posted 6 months ago in Proposals
Post # 2
2364 posts
Buzzing bee

We had a non-proposal.  

After we’d been dating for about 6 months, we had a conversation about how we felt about the idea of marriage in general, and then whether it was something we were interested in pursuing.  We then starting having timeline discussions… stuff like “I wouldn’t want to get engaged unless we’d lived together for at least 12 months, when would you be ready to move in together?”.  Over the next 18 months or so, we would revisit the timeline and check in on how we felt, if the timeline was still working or not.

Then we reached the point where we felt ready to get engaged. Worked with 2 jewelers to design custom rings and once both rings arrived, we planned a nice evening at a very nice restaurant and officially exchanged rings and considered ourselves engaged.  

No one technically “popped the question”, there were no surprises involved, there was a lot of clear and open communication.  

There was some romance involved… we had some lovely evenings drinking wine and looking at rings on pinterest, for example, and figuring out what we wanted in our rings.  I have lovely memories of being curled in in our pajamas and robe, giggling and drinking wine and looking at rings that we liked as well as ones we thought were…well, ridiculous.  As in, “how could you wipe when you went to the bathroom if you were wearing that?”  “If that was your ring, you’d probably be rich enough to hire someone to wipe for you.”  

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Post # 3
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

We got engaged a few weeks ago whilst eating chilli at home on a Wednesday night 😂 We already had the ring for a while, as I had designed it myself but he had it in his head he wanted to do a ‘proper’ proposal. However come that Wednesday night I was getting very stressed as the ring had been about a few weeks and I was getting worried he might propose at a family event or something. So I told him I was getting anxious and I wasn’t having fun waiting, I was just becoming stressed. So we went upstairs, he got the ring, asked if I’d marry him, I said yes and then we went back downstairs and carried on eating our chilli 😂 

Us to a t. Neither of us like a song and dance. We have been together for coming up to 8 years so we have known for ages we will get married. The actually getting ‘officially’ engaged wasn’t a big deal for us so it was perfect. 

Post # 4
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

He got down on his knees on the sidewalk in front of our house and proposed smile It was super simple and cute, no frills just him and me!! Very romantic but not like a huge all-out thing. We went out to dinner later that night. 

Post # 5
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

We talked and decided to get married. We looked at venues, picked a day paid a deposit then a month later we picked out my ring and 8 weeks after that when it was ready he asked me to be his wife and gave me the ring. During the wait for the ring we tasted cakes and ordered invites. 

We consider ourselves engaged from when we decided to marry. I can’t imagine getting a ring without already discussing and agreeing to get married. 

Post # 6
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

It wasn’t really a proposal. Or maybe it was, sort of? 😅 Around our 4th month we were having a picnic at the marina enjoying the weather and he said he’d never experienced so many perfect days in a relationship. “I don’t need years with you to realize I want a lifetime with you, I’ve made that decision already.” I agreed. Then we went back to watching the water. Started browsing rings that night at home. Married a year and a couple months later.

Post # 7
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

A few weeks after we started dating, I asked if he generally wanted kids and get married, he said yes. On and off we talked about it. about 2.5y into the relationship we had birthday dinner at a really nice Italian place and decided, we’d have the reception there. We were also looking for a flat. Then we found a house and decided we should live together for at least 6 months before a proposal. We moved into the house September 2017, I proposed Christmas Eve 2017 because I didn’t want to wait. Also, I’d looked at available wedding dates (court house is mandatory in Germany, I wanted a Saturday wedding and there was only ONE Satuday in autumn that coincided with a school holiday) and realized we had to start planning. So I put the ring in a TARDIS-shaped box, put it on the Christmas tree and asked him.

Post # 8
831 posts
Busy bee

My husband and I were friendly at the office. He asked me out for dinner. I knew he was the one.

On our second date, he dropped to one knee on the sidewalk and proposed 

We’ve been married almost 30 years. 

Post # 9
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I (a woman) asked him (a man) to marry me.  Almost everyone we knew said “well you’re not really engaged then” when they asked for the story and found out I had been the one to ask.  Didn’t matter to us, we had a small wedding with the 25 people who were willing to celebrate with us, and lived happily ever after. 

Post # 10
402 posts
Helper bee

I too am a woman who proposed to my male spouse— wouldn’t have it any other way! I made a delightful brunch and a photo collage of our lives then we went to see a holiday parade wearing goody hats! We repeat every year as a memory.

Post # 11
310 posts
Helper bee

I found out that he was planning to propose. I surprised him with a proposal instead.  Three days later, he surprised me with a proposal. We has two proposals.

Post # 12
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

We had several conversations about marriage and the future. One night we were on the phone (we were still long distance at this point) and were talking about future wedding plans and I said,  “Great. Now we just have to decide when we want to get engaged.” And he said,  “I thought we were engaged already. Isn’t that why we’re talking about wedding stuff?” Welp, the man had a point. So from that night on, we were engaged.

About 9 months later we went to a store and picked out my engagement band and brought it home. I went to get something from the bedroom and he followed me and once he got inside he got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him. I said “I have to. The wedding is 5 months away and our deposits were nonrefundable.” We still like to think back to those memories. 

Post # 13
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

Non-proposal and non-romantic here.

We’d talked about getting married and agreed that we wanted to live together first. The original plan was to get his house decorated and update it, sell it, and buy somewhere bigger together, then get engaged. I was renting and he owned his place outright. Things didn’t quite go to plan because his mother had some medical issues which basically meant we put everything on hold for a year. After that we decided I’d just move in with him and we’d work on the house while we both lived there.

After a year we realised we weren’t making quick progress (work commitments were insane), I said I didn’t like the idea of waiting another year before we even got engaged. We decided we’d get married first, and sort the house afterwards. The next day we went shopping for a ring.

 I don’t like the idea of surprise proposals anyway, I want a big life decision to be something I can discuss with my partner. Until I joined this site, I’d never heard of the idea of people knowing their man had a ring but were waiting for him to propose. I’m not sure if it’s a cultural thing because I’m not in the US, or if I’ve just been living under a rock! I don’t know anyone who had an elaborate surprise proposal, and the idea of having a hidden photographer, etc, is totally unheard of.

Post # 14
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

On June 18 2013 my now husband and I were bf and gf… we went to an outlet mall and we were casually walking around, we had in the past talked about marrying each other but we didnt go into much detail or in depth (had been dating since January 2012) so at the outlet mall I saw a jewelry store and I said to him hey lets go to that store, I want to see the sparkly stuff. We went in, he told me to look around and I did. We both liked a ring and the associate checked my man’s credit to see if he could open an account for the amount of money… he did and my husband bought the ring immediately ans placed it on my finger. And Bam! We were engaged.

Lol married September of 2013 (3 months after getting engaged) and have been married 5 years, have two kids and trying to have two more kids. 

Not a super out there fancy proposal story lolol but still unique I think.

Post # 15
27 posts
  • Wedding: August 2019 - Kelowna, BC, Canada

I definately had a proposal but not a big showy one. But it was perfectly us. 

On December 22nd, 2018 he decided to give me my christmas presents early. (I gave him his present earlier as well)

Anyways..we are at home I’m sitting on the couch opening a few presents that he passes to me as hes knealing on the floor..then he passes me a small box and opens it to a ring and says “theres one more”…”Will you marry me?”…at this point I’m in shock because at first I thought it was just a christmas present. I actually said “are you sure!?” first and then “yes of course!” LOL…I was also taken aback because it was dark green (emerald) and we had talked before about what I wanted and I told him Amethyst so when I saw green I thought it was a regular ring for Christmas. He said he was planning on Amethyst for the wedding ring! (No band) I thought that was different and explained to him that usually the wedding ring is just a band lol but I absolutely love it! And it means I will have 2 sparkly rings! Im thinking I will wear my engagement ring on my right hand when I get married. Cause you know..”Purple and green should never be seen unless its in the washing machine” laughing

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