(Closed) None of my friends can relate. :-(

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m sorry, I know that’s a hard situation. My friends are all in that stage of their lives (the married stage) and they can’t get enough of our plans and what-not. I’d say just gush! Who’s going to be your bridal party? Gush to them! They’re going to have to be a part of it anyways. If anyone gets mad at you for being happy…that’s pathetic. 

Post # 4
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I know the feeling. There are only two of us out of all of my friends that are at the married stage – most are still living on their parents’ dime! No joke, 3 of my bridal party members either live at home or their parents pay their rent. I can’t even talk about budgeting! I love my friends, but it really sucks sometimes. That’s why boards are awesome!

Post # 5
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@artichokesalad: I am younger than you but I feel your pain.

Most of my friends are single or in not very serious relationships.  I will only be starting university this coming January, and probably won’t be engaged for a while, but will be married within the next three years.  Most of my friends don’t even want kids either, or at least not as much as I do.

My SO and I are trying to make a point of making new friends who we can relate to as a couple, as well as individually.  Perhaps you and your soon-to-be Fiance could try this as well?

Either way, just know that you always have these boards!

Post # 6
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel the same – that’s why this board is so great. Everyone on here has been so wonderful with their support and advice whenever I have posted! So, in the meanthime, until you find someone you can share your stories with, we’re here for you πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Maybe your friends will surprise you and be excited after everything is more official. I’m in my mid-twenties and while I have a close friend who is engaged, the majority of my friends are not thinking about marriage for a while. However, most of them are happy for me to gush for a few minutes about almost being engaged and while they always says the requisite “That’s so crazy- you’re going to be MARRIED soon,” I think they are genuinely excited.

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yup, I can totally understand. When I got engaged, not only were people not happy they were indifferent! The biggest event in my life happened and no one even asked me about it, it was so awful! That’s why I joined WB πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Seriously! When my friends get engaged I am super happy for them. Yes, I’m jealous sometimes and sometimes it just drives it home that I’m not engaged…which hurts, but I take care of that on my own so I can be happy for them and help with the wedding.

Gush all you want here, we’re happy for you!

Post # 10
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can kind of relate.

My FH and I work together and there are policies that strictly forbid two employees from getting married. So, even though we know we are getting married next year after he retires, we can’t say anything! I’m popping at the seems to tell everyone, because all of our friends at work are super happy we got together. I’d like to be able to share the joy with them, but we can’t! πŸ™

 

 

Post # 11
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I think you should at least talk to them. If they are your friends, they’ll be excited for you, especially the ones dating and waiting. They may not be at the ring stage, but they are waiting, so they know how it is and they will be excited.

 

Post # 12
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Most of my friends are married, so its always a lot of pressure to join their club!

I think friends, regardless of their situation, should be friends to you and be happy for you. Even my single friends are so keen for us to get married and are constantly asking if there is progress. These are huge developments in your relationship and you should be able to be giddy about it to them!

Post # 13
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

yeah i dont think your friends have to be at the same stage as you to understand your excitement. i was excited for my friends when they were engaged and married even when i was stil single. 

Post # 14
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am in the same shoes.  We’ve picked out a ring but are waiting until the jeweler is having their big sale to buy it.  We just moved to a new town for my grad school and I hardly have any friends.  Those that I am close with are single and still in the “college” phase – partying every weekend, casually dating, etc – so I feel like I have no one to talk to and get excited about things with.  I say don’t be afraid to gush with his parents if you are close with them and if they know it’s coming soon.  I definitely do that and his mom is so appreciative that I keep her so close in the loop.  Never a bad tim to get your Future Mother-In-Law on your good side. πŸ˜‰  Plus this weddingbee is AWESOME for people like us. 

Post # 15
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Similar situation here!

SO and I are literally trapped in between a whole bunch of married couples, de facto couples who don’t intend on getting married and singles. We’re the only couple in the waiting stage – knowing we want to be together forever but just waiting on the cashflow to get the ring. I don’t feel like anyone will really understand how I feel… so grateful to have the boards!

Post # 16
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

yeah i dont think your friends have to be at the same stage as you to understand your excitement.

Exactly. I don’t understand how that even works. My friend got engaged when I was single and dating many men. Yeah TO HER, it was sad because she waned to be married, but to me, I enjoyed it. I was working in a career, took vacations(out of the country) and I was happy for her. Just because I didn’t want that at the same time, doesn’t mean I didn’t know how to be excited for her. And really, what’s wrong with a under 25yr old going out and enjoying life? Long as there are no kids or a husband-nothing.

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