Post # 1
I need some Bee love. 🙁
All of my girl friends are either single, dating, or dating and waiting. I am also waiting but not really. The ring has been designed, we’ve been diamond hunting for months. His mom offered her old diamond, which was really sweet! So suffice to say, he is waiting for the right moment which could be next month or in a few months.
I’m bummed because I am excited but want to share that excitement with people, and my friends are just not in that place in their lives. One of my best friends in a couple years older than me and not dating, and she’s very sensitive about it… so even though she is supportive and happy for me, I want to spare her my gushing. This has left me feeling very strange and isolated because I am turning a new leaf in my life now aside from this and “growing up”… not only beginning college at 27 and going into a new field, but also crossing over to a wife, a home owner, and probably a mom in a few short years.
Does anyone else have a similar situation? I don’t have a good relationship with my parents so I can’t really share anything with them… and I don’t want to gush to his family until we’re official, even though they know the upcoming plan.
Post # 3
I’m sorry, I know that’s a hard situation. My friends are all in that stage of their lives (the married stage) and they can’t get enough of our plans and what-not. I’d say just gush! Who’s going to be your bridal party? Gush to them! They’re going to have to be a part of it anyways. If anyone gets mad at you for being happy…that’s pathetic.
Post # 4
I know the feeling. There are only two of us out of all of my friends that are at the married stage – most are still living on their parents’ dime! No joke, 3 of my bridal party members either live at home or their parents pay their rent. I can’t even talk about budgeting! I love my friends, but it really sucks sometimes. That’s why boards are awesome!
Post # 5
@artichokesalad: I am younger than you but I feel your pain.
Most of my friends are single or in not very serious relationships. I will only be starting university this coming January, and probably won’t be engaged for a while, but will be married within the next three years. Most of my friends don’t even want kids either, or at least not as much as I do.
My SO and I are trying to make a point of making new friends who we can relate to as a couple, as well as individually. Perhaps you and your soon-to-be Fiance could try this as well?
Either way, just know that you always have these boards!
Post # 6
I feel the same – that’s why this board is so great. Everyone on here has been so wonderful with their support and advice whenever I have posted! So, in the meanthime, until you find someone you can share your stories with, we’re here for you 🙂
Post # 7
Maybe your friends will surprise you and be excited after everything is more official. I’m in my mid-twenties and while I have a close friend who is engaged, the majority of my friends are not thinking about marriage for a while. However, most of them are happy for me to gush for a few minutes about almost being engaged and while they always says the requisite “That’s so crazy- you’re going to be MARRIED soon,” I think they are genuinely excited.
Post # 8
Yup, I can totally understand. When I got engaged, not only were people not happy they were indifferent! The biggest event in my life happened and no one even asked me about it, it was so awful! That’s why I joined WB 🙂
Post # 9
Seriously! When my friends get engaged I am super happy for them. Yes, I’m jealous sometimes and sometimes it just drives it home that I’m not engaged…which hurts, but I take care of that on my own so I can be happy for them and help with the wedding.
Gush all you want here, we’re happy for you!
Post # 10
I can kind of relate.
My FH and I work together and there are policies that strictly forbid two employees from getting married. So, even though we know we are getting married next year after he retires, we can’t say anything! I’m popping at the seems to tell everyone, because all of our friends at work are super happy we got together. I’d like to be able to share the joy with them, but we can’t! 🙁
Post # 11
I think you should at least talk to them. If they are your friends, they’ll be excited for you, especially the ones dating and waiting. They may not be at the ring stage, but they are waiting, so they know how it is and they will be excited.
Post # 12
Most of my friends are married, so its always a lot of pressure to join their club!
I think friends, regardless of their situation, should be friends to you and be happy for you. Even my single friends are so keen for us to get married and are constantly asking if there is progress. These are huge developments in your relationship and you should be able to be giddy about it to them!
Post # 13
yeah i dont think your friends have to be at the same stage as you to understand your excitement. i was excited for my friends when they were engaged and married even when i was stil single.
Post # 14
I am in the same shoes. We’ve picked out a ring but are waiting until the jeweler is having their big sale to buy it. We just moved to a new town for my grad school and I hardly have any friends. Those that I am close with are single and still in the “college” phase – partying every weekend, casually dating, etc – so I feel like I have no one to talk to and get excited about things with. I say don’t be afraid to gush with his parents if you are close with them and if they know it’s coming soon. I definitely do that and his mom is so appreciative that I keep her so close in the loop. Never a bad tim to get your Future Mother-In-Law on your good side. 😉 Plus this weddingbee is AWESOME for people like us.
Post # 15
Similar situation here!
SO and I are literally trapped in between a whole bunch of married couples, de facto couples who don’t intend on getting married and singles. We’re the only couple in the waiting stage – knowing we want to be together forever but just waiting on the cashflow to get the ring. I don’t feel like anyone will really understand how I feel… so grateful to have the boards!
Post # 16
yeah i dont think your friends have to be at the same stage as you to understand your excitement.
Exactly. I don’t understand how that even works. My friend got engaged when I was single and dating many men. Yeah TO HER, it was sad because she waned to be married, but to me, I enjoyed it. I was working in a career, took vacations(out of the country) and I was happy for her. Just because I didn’t want that at the same time, doesn’t mean I didn’t know how to be excited for her. And really, what’s wrong with a under 25yr old going out and enjoying life? Long as there are no kids or a husband-nothing.