Post # 1
Hello! I am getting married in Toms River NJ and I need to find a nonreligious wedding officiant (hopefully an affordable one!)
I’m thinking about having my friend do it, but here’s a side question!
If my friend were to ‘marry’ us, what is expected of him to do?
I’ve never seen a ceremony done and I have no idea what to expect, does he have to say a few words? Will the site that officiates him tell him what to say? Am I able to literally write down everything I want him to say a and he just says that?
I know it sounds CRAZY but I need some help lol
Post # 2
Really, the wording can be however you want it. I’m sure there are some samples online to get an idea. You can also check with your local courthouse and see if any of the judges do off site weddings. That’s what we did, and the judge was AWESOME! He was even bilingual and showed us a few different ceremony formats he did, and we picked the one we liked best. His pricing was great ($150) and he arrived early, was very professional, and very warm. Everyone was shocked that he was a judge and not just a wedding officiant lol!
Post # 3
Realistically, the only thing that really matters is the legal papers signed by you and your Darling Husband and acknowledged by the state. The officiant can say anything, and you can say anything at the ceremony because it technically isn’t the ceremony that matters.
Post # 4
Since1993_: I don’t know much about creating a wedding ceremony without a professional officiant. We did a lot to make our non-religious ceremony with traditional vows and a couple of things that were Greek, Jewish, and Dothraki, but having the guidance of an experienced officiant helped a lot.
We found our officiant on Wedding Wire I think, and he was great. Technically a “Reverend” but I think his primary spiritual training was Buddhist, and to us he was a kind, nerdy, spiritual hippie, which was perfect. We also met with a retired JOP who just does weddings now, and she also would have been wonderful I’m sure, but we decided we thought her vibe suited us just a tiny bit less. If you do hire an officiant, definitely meet with them in person if possible or at least talk on the phone before booking, and research questions to ask them!
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Since1993_: hey there. we had a friend be our officiant. he got ordained for free in like 10 minutes online through the Universal Life Church (nondenominational). My husband and I wrote the ceremony and left some space for him to talk if he wanted, too. It came together really well and we loved it! Just make sure your friend is the kind of person who likes / is good at public speaking.
There’s a link to our ceremony text here : http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/our-unplugged-unreligious-self-written-but-slightly-traditional-ceremony-script/
Post # 6
Since1993_: My friend is officiating our wedding. We came up with a script together using some words I wrote, some words he wrote, and some sample scripts from OffbeatBride.com and APracticalWedding.com (both super useful sites for this kind of thing!) We used a Google Doc which made it easy to share revisions and comments.
Post # 7
There’s lots of ceremony script & content available online, plus there are books for officiates that you can buy. We had a family member get ordained online and I just kinda poked around on the internet for inspiration & to get an idea of the general flow of a ceremony. The family member also got a book & would send us excerpts that he thought we might like. So I wrote some of it myself, used some bits that were found elsewhere and forged it together to make our script and vows. It was actually really easy and was one of the more enjoyable tasks of the planning. If you think you’d like a friend to do the honors then I encourage you to pursue that.
Post # 8
Hands-down the best wedding ceremony I have ever been to was non-religious and performed by a family friend. The bride and groom decided what he was going to say, except for a small portion of which he told a personal story about their love for one another. They included two readings/poems that were read by additional friends and their own vows. I cried and cried. It left much more room for personalization than the religious weddings I had been too and overall focused much more on LOVE!
Post # 9
We used Peter Greco from versatile events. He was great!
we got married at the TR Hotel in Tom’s River.
Post # 10
unicornphish: Dothraki wedding vows! Maybe that will go over better than a Dothraki reception. I did ask Fiance about the Dothraki reception and he really couldnt wrap his mind around it. he kept making jokes about naked women and sex.
Post # 11
Here was our formula:
1) welcome everyone, thank you for coming intro. Then something like who here presents this woman… and my parents stood and said we do.
2) We had 2 readings – one was “I want to grow old with you” by Adam sandler, and the other was a really romantic reading.
3) Do you __ take ___ to be your wife … Do you __ take __ to be your husband.. and we added in something to the audience for them to say “we do!” (like will you support them in their marriage or something).
4) We read our own vows
5) Exchange of rings
6) Sign the papers (we also took the time to put our handwritten vows into a box with a bottle of wine to open at each anniversary 🙂 )
7) One last reading (we chose the last bit of the Irish blessing to read)
Lots of people have other cute ideas in the ceremony, including mixing sands, lighting candles, making a painting, or a “fight box”.