(Closed) Nontraditional ring – conflicted about choice – your thoughts??

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I understand how you feel. I chose small size rings that I love and are my taste, and get that “cute” comment as well.  Very. Annoying.

Still, I say get whatever you love, because people that make comments, it lasts a few seconds and they won’t think about it again. You, on the other hand, will be wearing your rings all. your. life.

I don’t show my rings unless someone asks. But I do stare at it all the time, thinking how pretty and how much effort DH and I put into choosing it; and about the fact that because we picked small, we’re able to travel 3 times this year – our ring budget became our honeyyear budget! 😉

Post # 4
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

From what I’ve read on this board…unfortunately there are just rude people EVERYWHERE who will make unappreciated comments on whatever type of ring you have. If you get a large stone, you’ll be asked “OMG, is it REAL?!” If you have a small yet high quality stone you’ll get “Oh, cute!”

There seems to be no way to win and nobody even knows why it’s a contest.

I say stick with the ring you initally chose and loved. Don’t cave for anyone else.

Post # 5
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I saw your previous post with the two rings you were chosing between and I commented that I didn’t think either looked like an e-ring.  But it’s your ring and your symbol of commitment to your Fiance, I don’t see what the big deal is about not having an e-ring and just having a band.

Tradition isn’t what it used to be.  I’m just from the school where you get an e-ring and then a separate band at the wedding.  For you, the band you chose is enough and you’ll wear it and think of your FI/Husband and that’s what counts.  I don’t think it’s the fact that they don’t see the quality in the ring you have, because from the pics… the ring looked very high quality, I just think it’s that people aren’t used to seeing the band before the e-ring or the band without the e-ring at all.

Post # 6
1 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

I had the same experience and just went through the same inner-struggle.

I have a pink sapphire, instead of a diamond.  I never wanted a diamond, but comments from co-workers (and of course my mom) really made me struggle with choosing a wedding ring. 

In the end I chose a very different ring (because of the shape of my non-traditional ring we would have had to customize a band to fit around my ring, and I did not want that look). I ended up choosing a man’s black diamond band. I haven’t gotten it in yet, but I am happy with my choice.

I know it is difficult, but don’t let the other’s comments bother you.  You have to live with your ring, not your co-workers. Good luck!

Post # 7
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Are you wearing your ring to remind yourself of your Fiance and the love you share or to impress everyone else?  I am guessing it’s the first, so who gives a crap what everyone else thinks!?

Easier said than done, I know.  But really, as long as YOU love your ring, why should their comments matter?  Plus, no matter what ring you chose, you will find someone that says something negative.  You can’t please everyone – you’ve got to please yourself.  Especially when it comes to YOUR ring.

Post # 8
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

To be fair, an eternity bad is a very popular wedding ring style and if I didn’t know you I would probably just assume you are already married and choose to only wear your wedding band. But who cares! Lots of ppl would look at a sapphire/ruby e-ring and still ask “so where’s your engagement ring??” I don’t think you should be putting so much emphasis on what others are saying about your choice. It’s just a fact of life you’ll never please everyone. Stick with your gorgeous ring that you love and spend that extra thousand on your wedding!

Post # 9
2738 posts
Sugar bee

You are so lucky! You actually have several thousand left from your ring budget?? Can I have some Wink Don’t mind folks though. I live in NYC and I always see these huge honkers on the train. I’ve never wanted one and I specifically told my guy NOT to get me one. Most of my friends know enough to not make a comment although my brother went “You, you always are so different. Why don’t you want a diamond? A huge one at that?” Um, I don’t want one, have never wanted one, I do like the rings my friends have but it’s not my thing. So dear OP, keep in mind that you got what YOU like. Not what society says you should get. And also, you can’t please anyone. In a few months, you’d be married and no one would be that inquisitive about your rings anymore. Just try and ride it out and don’t go and buy a ring just because people have been making snarky comments Frown

Post # 10
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

A lot of my friends have an eternity band as their e-ring because of their active style.  I think it is a great e-ring.  Far too many people are into huge rings (IMHO), especially on this board.I have a 0.5 carat, 6 prong, cathedral setting because of this as well. Which is small to many but large for me.  

If it is the ring you like as a symbol of your commitment, just ignore the rude comments or have a nice, diplomatic comeback such as ‘this ring suits my style and our relationship’ or ‘I’m not into large, flashy jewelry.’  

Post # 11
10360 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have a very non-traditional engagement ring – it is an uncut/raw diamond cube set into on octagon gold band. It’s one of a kind, and I love it so much that it doesn’t bother me that so many women are confused by my not getting a huge sparkley diamond. It is exactly what I wanted – something unique and that I have never seen before, and I love it!!

Your ring sounds beautiful – just because people don’t “get” it, doesn’t mean it isn’t great. It just means that there are a lot of people who can’t fathom reaching outside of their box. The majority of people thrive in the comfort zone of the “average”….be grateful you are not one of them!! 🙂

Post # 12
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am in the same boat, my FH proposed to me without me having a single clue it was coming. So the ring he picked out was without any input on what I wanted or liked and he chose a 5 stone ring that feels more like a wedding band.  I also get “cute” comments, and it is actually my FH that has decided my ring was not the right choice and is insisting that we get a more traditional type e-ring.  I think you decide how much the comments bother you and if they are more annoying then you want, then decide together what your options are.

Post # 13
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I wanted an eternity ring for my engagement ring but Fiance got me a solitaire instead. I fell in love with what he picked out but I ALSO get “Your ring is cute” comments. Also, the “Awwwww” really bothers me. Sometimes I feel like people are describing a puppy!

Post # 14
722 posts
Busy bee

I got an eternity ring for my e ring- I love it! Most people i know  think it is a very sophisticated choice. I will stack it with other thinner eternity bands. One for a wedding ring, another maybe for an anniversary. 

Here is my e ring and wedding band:

Post # 15
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t get another e-ring. You are letting other people’s (presumed) opinions sway you into doing something you do not need or want to do. You’re quite honest with the fact that you want others to admire and compliment you on your ring, and that seems to be the motivating factor. I wish I could tell you something so that you can be zen and let that go, but I can only remind you that you LOVE your ring and you chose a style indicative of who you are. It takes a certain personality to go for a non-traditional, understated ring given a generous budget, and I’m sure that person is a lot more confident and self-assured than to buy a second ring for others in mind.

Post # 16
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think you should get whatever your heart desires.  Don’t let other people bring you down. Plus, may I add – you are right about the “huge screamer of a honking” ring.  A girl I work with got one and people comment on it all the time “bubble gum ring”, “lollipop ring”, etc.  She went for quantity over quality and that was her choice (she picked the stone and setting).  She did what made her happy and people STILL talk about her ring.  So, I think people are always going to talk.  I was like you in I value quality over quantity.  I also love the sentiment that comes in giving a wedding band.  My husband designed my engagement ring and wedding band and that made me happy.  I also designed his wedding band.  You and your FH might consider designing your own rings as it was such a wonderful experience for us!  Here is a picture of our rings! Good luck and remember – people will always talk so it is important to do what makes you happy.


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