(Closed) Nooooo….So AWKWARD!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

yikes, that is awkward.  have your fi talk to him in person and bring up the 3rd guest in question. 

it amazes me how many people don’t read the invited names on the invite.

Post # 4
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Agree with @mypinkshoes: too bad some folks just cannot read (or know the basic rules of Etiquette)

Indeed now this has to be straightened out with the Boss, Hubby could do it… or if that is really awkward for him (depends how chummy he is with his New Boss) he could always give you the task to play “bad cop” in this situation

“Sorry, but we are only having adults at our wedding”… or “Sorry but we only have so much room”… whatever fits the situation best

It really isn’t your fault that you didn’t fill out the form part for them… We have saved 2 Seats for you

BUT in this day and age, it does seem that a lot of Brides are going that route, because of the fact that so many people don’t seem to know the basic rules or how to follow them

Sorry… you now are facing this issue… it truly sucks !!


Post # 5
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

On our RSVP cards we did ___ of ____ attending and filled in the second blank so as to make the point extra clear! However, its too late to change your cards now! I would say something unless you are comfortable with a potentially cranky child at your wedding.


I would suggest that you call the boss and say that you were inputting the RSVP cards into your guest list program, and you noticed that he wrote down three and that your program only reserved a seat for him and his wife. Hopefully he will get the picture and not make a big deal of it. However, if he says “Well I cant leave my child at home” then you can kindly explain that you decided not to have children due to budget reasons, and add that you want to be fair to all guests so you have to stick to it. Be sure to say this so he doesn’t try to offer to pay for the extra seats.

Post # 6
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh wow, that’s awful.  It’s definitely not your fault – the boss didn’t bother to read who was actually invited!  Hopefully your Fiance can figure it out! 

Post # 7
1697 posts
Bumble bee

This is one of the many very good reasons why social relationships should not be confused with business relationships. A hostess is naturally in a position of authority with respect to her guests; an employer or supervisor is in a position of authority with respect to his employees. Then something like this happens, and you are in the position of having to exercise your authority over someone who has the power to fire your fiance — or at least to negatively performance-review him. Even just a little estrangement or resentment can affect his success at work.

No, it is not your fault. Socially, the responsibility is with the guest to reply on his own stationery; the R.s.v.p. card is just a courtesy to those who might not otherwise reply (and an insult to those of us who would, but that is beside the point). You had no obligation to rub guests’ noses in the basic fact that only the invitees are invited.

That being said, on a go forward basis, hostesses are well advised to keep workplace relationships in the workplace and avoid using social events as a vehicle for cementing professional networks.

Post # 8
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So awkward! I’ve also been having people invite along a guest or ask if they can bring a guest. I can’t believe how rude people are! And it’s so annoying because now WE have to look like the bad guys, when really THEY are the ones being so rude!

Post # 9
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

well get this: a friend just RSVPd for her and “Mr. Right”! she said that she didn’t know who here date was going to be, but she is hoping she’ll be seeing someone by then!

i had a good laugh over it. I mean, really?

i explained to her in person today that the invite was only for her, sorry, want to keep our numbers small, costs down, etc. and that only if she meets the LOVE of her life in the next 6 weeks can she bring a date. we laughed over it and so things are fine, but really, so many people have no clue…

Post # 10
8363 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Personally I don’t understand how this is awkward! It is a misunderstanding and I am sure your FI’s boss will be embarrassed that he misunderstood the invite. Just politely inform him that the invite was for just him and his wife. If he has a problem with then he will decline and if not he will find a sitter.

Post # 11
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

At my venue, kids under 3 are free. Even if the kid was older, in this particular situation I would just suck it up and allow the kid.

Post # 12
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mtnhoney:  LMAO hahaha!

Post # 14
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is your fault because you really should have been more specific. omg how embarrassing, Seriously I would just let this kid come. It would be soooo embarrassing to bring it up and also it’s his BOSS!! 

Post # 15
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@JessicaPop:  Sorry, I disagree. 

The OP did say that they wrote the NAMES on the Invite.  NOT HER FAULT, if those Invited didn’t know / don’t know the Rules of Etiquette for a wedding (sounds like this couple might be married… as the OP said “wife” in her Original Posting… so THEY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN how this works)

And I don’t believe that now the Bride & Groom should be put into a situation where they need to accommodate the Boss’ child… especially so if this wasn’t (a) their original choice, or (b) children at the wedding isn’t in tune with their vision

Someone needs to tell the Boss… Sorry you misunderstood, the Invite was for you and your wife… that’s whos names were on the Envelope.  Period.


Post # 16
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

This is not your fault at all- FI’s boss is at fault. Whoever is named on the invite is invited, not whatever family a guest choses to add.

Borrowed from another bee: “We were thrilled to get your RSVP, unfortunately we only are able to extend the invitation to you and your wife. If this means you are not able to make it, we understand and you will be missed.”

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