(Closed) Nosy Coworkers & Early Pregnancy

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@sassyt:  Ummm, maybe they were trying to find out because someone is going to have to pick up the slack while you’re out on maternity leave and that takes some coordinated planning and time…

Post # 4
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@sassyt:  What PP said about them trying to plan is possible so maybe keep that in mind.

In other news, the way they were asking and even asking other people about it (who probably don’t know either), is very rude of them.  I don’t blame you for feeling like your life has being nosed in on, that would definitely bother me too. I would go ahead with the reveal, but leave out the private convo towards those coworkers. Hopefully an official announcement will shut them up.

HOWEVER, if they continue to nose into your business and such in a way that makes you uncomfortable, I would have a talk with them.

Post # 5
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sassyt:  congrats!! Tell them when you’re comfortable. I didn’t even tell my boss until 18 weeks when I started to show. It’s very rude of them to continually ask about it. I would hve lied too.  I probably wouldn’t say anything to them though, what’s done is done. 

@Nona99:  it’s still none of their business To ask about it especially this early on. Technically all you have to give is 30 days notice Usually for FMLA and STD. And that is to her boss not her colleagues. she has zero obligation to tell her coworkers.

Post # 8
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That is SO obnoxious!

I wouldn’t talk to them about it… They were probably just excited! But you’re right, it’s still super rude!

Post # 9
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

Unlike some of the PPs, I think your co-workers were pretty rude about the whole situation. You are 13 weeks pregnant, and there will be plenty of time for them to plan your maternity leave if you tell them at your work’s Christmas party. I don’t get it that everyone thinks it is their right to know the minute that you conceive a child. You were 100% right for wanting to keep it on the DL until you were at least 12 weeks pregnant. I haven’t been pregnant yet, but I don’t think I will even tell close family members until I am 12 weeks to save the heartache of having to tell them bad news if a MC happened. That would mean that friends/coworkers/etc. would have to wait even longer than 12 weeks to hear the news. 

Post # 10
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in a similar situation at 8 weeks. I refuse to say a word to any of my coworkers since 1.) its not their business and 2.) I work in the schools and I’m due in the summer so no one has to worry about picking up the slack for me. I’ve decided that I will tell my boss after Christmas break and then let everyone else figure it out on their own. I feel like the only reason people want to know is to be nosy most times anyway.

Post # 11
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sassyt:  While I agree they were rude, I don’t think you should say anything. If they come up to you and say something then I’d let them have it with both barrels, but unless that happens I would just leave it alone. They are just nosy and who knows why.

Post # 12
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I am in a similar boat. I told the owners of the clinic I work at as I am having some all day sickness and my doctor (who I think is being far too cautious) put me on a lifting restriction after I had some spotting a few weeks ago. I am 11 weeks tomorrow. This has somehow turned into the worst kept secret ever and I think everyone knows and is pretending not to know. So any time anyone asks “So whats new?” I blatently lie to them and they know it!

Post # 13
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

If I were in your place I would put off telling them for a while, purely because they are being so obnoxious about it! But, ya know, I am just stubborn that way. Good luck!

Post # 14
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Ugh that is beyond unprofessional and rude. Even if they were trying to figure it out for their own work load purposes it still does not make it at all appropriate.

I can very easily see my co-workers doing this as well. I work in a very small office and any time I have food poisoning or stomach illness my manager asks if I am pregnant. Really!?! Like I would tell you anyway! Not acceptable, not appropriate. When I tell you is when you will know, not a moment sooner!

Post # 15
1138 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah, I don’t think they were interrogating you or the boss for “planning” purposes. I think 1. people like to gossip and 2. they may have perceived that if they could plant the idea in the boss’ head that you are or were soon going to be pregnant, it would result in more favorable treatment to them (who presumably are not and will not be pregnant soon)–better assignments, better treatment, etc. I tend to be very cynical about people’s motives. There’s no excuse for them going behind your back. 

That said, I wouldn’t confront them about it, unless it’s in passing, like, “Well since I hear you were so curious that you asked Gary if he knew anything about it, you’ll be excited to know that yes in fact I am pregnant.” Ha ha. That’s just me though. 

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