- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
We’re getting hitched Vegas style, just the two ofus, and we will have a small party for when we get back home. This decision was based on not only financial reasons, but also because we wanted to do it our way, just the way we want, with no stress, no long planning, and with lots of small adventures in between.
We’re getting married on a specific day, which FMIL chose for us, astologically, because apparently were best suited for each other on thAt particular day…. Don’t even start… I don’t believe in mambo jumbo, and I tried to tell her that the date doesn’t really matter to us, as our wedding will be the best day for us both, regardless of the date… I went along with it, only to avoid problems with her… Because when I told her that I would rather get married a week before because the plane tickets would be a lot cheaper to Vegas, she threw a fit and blamed me for not caring about having a good peaceful life with her son (which we will have only if we get married on her chosen day)……..
Then, I wanted to go shopping with FI for a suit, I thought it would be fun to have a light coloured suit (very light gray). I also thought it would be stylish to buy him brown shoes, as I think it makes for a very unique and stylish combination. So, a week after I share these ideas with FMIL, she buys him a dark grey suit with black shoes. The suit was expensive, and it was on a last sale, so it was impossible to return it. The color was darker than what I had in mind. And the shoes were black…. I was a little upset that she didn’t consult me. However I thanked her for buying the suit, but told her I will continue to look for the brown shoes (to which she turned her nose and said that would look silly)…
Then the rings… We have to buy rings in the next couple of weeks. And I’ve been talking to my recently married friends, who suggested to me a particular mall which has several great jewellery stores that have a great selection for men’s and women’s wedding bands… last week FI told his mom over the phone that were going there next week to look at rings and I could Actually hear her gasp! She said that we can’t do that, that we can’t look at small jewellery stores, and have to go to this one big specific one, because they have the best quality and wont rip us off. FI politely said that we were recommended these stores by several friends who recently got married and who got quality bands for a better price than the big retailers. She yelled in the phone and said that we shouldn’t listen to our friends because they’re idiots and don’t know what they’re talking about….
The final straw was when we were over at their house last weeKend. FMIL told me to bring my dress so she can look at it. I brought my dress, we went upstairs into her bedroom, I got all excited and put it on. It’s knee length dress, with a slightly vintage feel, and I absolutely love it and feel gorgeous in it! And it’s perfect for Vegas. I put it on, she seemed to like it, though its difficult to say from her reaction. I told her I think it would be fun to have a birdcage veil, and she said that would look stupid (I don’t think so). She asked me what I’m doing with my hair and make up. I said I will probably do it myself (all I would need is just a light curl to my long blond hair, pin it to the side, and have a cat eye and red lips. something that I can very well do myself). She was in horror. She said that I have to get a pro to do this for me if I want to look pretty… that very moment i began to regret ever putting on my dress in front of her…And then…. She told me that I have to wear specific lingerie, nothing too colourful, and ppreferably something with white lace, And that I should show her when i buy it……I was an angel up to this point… but I couldn’t resist. I told her, thank you very much for your help and advice, but I really think I can choose my lingerie without your approval…
i don’t know what to do… I want to do things the way FI and I want it. I look at poor FI and he seems torn sometimes – he wants to please us both. But I compromise every, single, time! First with the date, then with the suit, then with the rings, and so on? Something that FI and I should have chosen ourselves right from the beginning!
whats next? She’s gonna tell me which nipple to breast feed my future child from???
How the hell do I draw a line, without creating a conflict????