(Closed) Not a BM for one of my BM… gift options

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think that you necessarily need to “match” what she spent on you, but I think that you should get her something nice that you can afford.  Maybe there is something extra special on her registry that she would want?  Or maybe, there is something that you loved as a wedding gift that you would like for her to have as well. 

Post # 4
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i would but that is just who i am. if you are really close which it sounds like u are i would pick one of the expensive gifts off the registry or a check for the amount..

Post # 5
Hostess
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs. Cooper:  i don’t think you need to match, per se, but I would definitely pick out one of the nicer things on her registry that show that you care, and know what she really wants!

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

DH’s sister and her fiance were in our wedding, but we weren’t in theirs.  They gave us $300, and we spent about $100 per person on wedding party gifts, and paid for their hotel for three nights otherwise they couldn’t afford to come, and DH’s parents paid for their attire.  They then had a destination wedding, and we gave them $100, and felt like that was fair enough, considering it cost us a lot of money to have them at our wedding AND to attend theirs.

 

Post # 8
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

There is no reason for you to ‘match’ her contribution to your wedding.  If you went to the Destination Wedding, I especially think you don’t need to spend as much on the gift.  Even if you did not attend, just buy her something you can afford.

Post # 9
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Mrs. Cooper:  No, I think the mixer is very generous! Presumably you’re getting her a “thank you for being a BM” gift, too, to thank her for buying her dress & throwing your shower, so I don’t think you necessarily have to spend $450 on a wedding gift for the sake of being “even”.

Post # 10
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I totally don’t think you have to match. BMs pretty much know they’re going to go above and beyond, and not having them means that you’re not having people in those roles, if that makes sense. I think the mixer would be a lovely gift, though, and definitely generous!

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