(Closed) Not a Girl’s Girl :( (long)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

LOL you sound like my kind of girl πŸ˜€ I have a very bad potty mouth and have been told I curse more than a sailor (f’g rocks in my book lol)… and I didn’t realize I was strange until M’s sister/one of my bm’s asked me for a guest list for my lingerie shower. ummm mm-kay I don’t have any girlfriend’s, I have one friend here and her sister is my friend so that’s two.  LOL. I think after thinking really hard I came up with 4 friends for my list.  W was appalled she was like OMG girl you have no friends here?! I was like I have no friends anywhere I have family and a handful of friends from college, etc.

Post # 5
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You totally sound like me! I’ve always had more “guy” friends than “girl” friends because I just find guys easier to relate too! And I’ve noticed that I’ve changed more than those I used to hang around with, and due to that, I have less in common with my “old” friends and subsequently hang out with them less because it’s hard to relate to their way of life now that I’m no longer living mine that way.

Apparently this whole “friend making” thing doesn’t end at kindergarten . . .

Post # 6
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m in a similar boat to you, aside from my best friend from high school, 95% of my friends are all guys (and always have been guys). I never really saw it as a “problem” until wedding event planning – I’m not having a shower, in part, because I just don’t have a group of girlfriends to invite over.

I think having bridemen is fine! FH and I are just having 1 per side, and his best friend is a woman, so he technically has a “Best Woman” instead of a Best Man.

Oh well, I’m happy with the friends I have! πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

In my 20’s I was much the same way.  I made a conscious effort to nurture any relationships with women I *did* connect with, and now I have this awesome group of really kick-butt women who feel like sisters to me!  We’ve been hanging out for nearly 10 years, and most of them are even less girlie than I am.

We may have bonded over snowboarding, but now we joke that we are “heterosexual life partners” to each other πŸ™‚

I have also found that since developing these friendships (and it hasn’t always been easy) that now I find it much easier to befriend women!  Its a wonderful thing πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@Toastercat: I only have 3 bridesmaids (one pulled out yesterday) so i don’t think it would be that strange to have one stand next to you.  i definitely like DG have tried to make an effort to be closer to women and have a pretty cool group of women that i hang out with (most are in the wedding business like me, so we definitely get to talk girlie stuff all the time)

Post # 10
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I, too, find it hard being friends with girls. I don’t have a lot of girl friends and most of my close friends are guys. I have probably a handful of girl friends and that’s about it. I had the same problem when I was putting together a list of people to invite to showers and the bachelorette party. Oh well, I’ve never been a very social person and I’m very happy just having a few friends that I get together with every once in a while.

I think it would be great if you had a bridesman.

Post # 11
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m the exact same way. After I graduated college and had a more broad perspective on life, and I was also more settled with my husband (BF at the  time) I did a lot of reflection and decided to simply end relationships with girls I felt were, just well … not right for me. These were all women who I felt pressured to do things with like partying, bar hopping, clubbing, and couldn’t possibly understand my willingness to settle down with my husband. When I stopped having friendships with them, my life was so much better, and honestly, I have like two really good girlfriends, and the rest are guy friends from college (I had WAY more guy friends that I felt like I could be myself around).

For my Bridesmaid or Best Man, I only had two: my sister, who I’m REALLY close with, and my cousin, who’s like a sister to me. One of the many reasons we decided to have a small wedding party was so I didn’t feel obligated to include any female friends I wasn’t particularly close with, and then in the end, we decided to keep it all family.

 

Post # 12
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Agreed. I get along with guys a lot better than I do with girls. Even with some of my best girlfriends I get sick of listening to them complain about the same friggin problem over and over. I guess I’m a deal with it and move on type of person, which I think is from having so many male friends. I’ve actually made a few girlfriends through WB though and I’m really happy about that! It’s nice to know someone who lives closeby and who I know I won’t bore to death talking about crafts and wedding junk, LOL!

Post # 14
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Youre not alone. & as noted by the responses youve gotten. theres a lot of us on the same boat.

I have a lot of close guy friends and they all know my husband. The ones that didnt take the time to get to know him or show interest.. i said.. bye bye too.

Post # 15
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You can come to CA and be my friend!  This sounds really familiar.  I’m really, really crass (even the guys I know are terrified of what comes out of my mouth) and quite confrontational, so with a lot of women I end up having to put on my “work manners” which is not something I’m interested in doing with my close friends.

Look at it this way – if you’re off-putting to a lot of women, those are the ones that you’re not all that friendship-compatible with anyway.  It’s a quick screen and makes it easier to find the women who you really mesh with.  I know it’s hard with all this wedding stuff – Fiance has more female friends than I do and I’m not sure what we’re doing for wedding party stuff.  Probably just being uneven.  For other stuff, do what you want.  Anyone who tells me I can’t have a coed bachelorette party where I try to terrify my friends with inappropriateness is getting kicked in the groin.  Or, you know, just have a night of nice dinner and drinks / silly board games / movie marathon / whatever sort of fun with your friends that floats your boat.

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