(Closed) Not a lot of friends?!! NWR!

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know exactly how you feel.  It took me a while to establish friendships, mostly from coworkers.  But my best friend from work went back to school far away so I’ve moved back a couple steps.  I have a few promising friends from a workout group I’m in and I’ve also started doing charity work in order to get out there.

Post # 4
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel the exact same way. I love the girls in my wedding party (I have six- a cousin, Future Sister-In-Law, and 4 friends) but I’m not super close with any of them, like talk about anything close… and they’re all from my hometown, which is 1.5 hours away from me now. Fiance has tons of friends and never has any problems, I wish I were like that 🙁

I’m 20 and I’ve never consumed more than a couple sips of alcohol at one time, the party scene isn’t my thing either. I’m in college and I haven’t made a single friend here. So I know how you feel. I guess I just throw myself into school and try to forget about it. Fiance and I are long distance so I just have my cats to talk to, lol. I don’t really know how to deal with it… but you’re not alone!

Post # 6
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re not alone.  I only had the choice of three people.  One of those people stopped talking to me though I thought we were best friends.  So, now I was left with two people.  It really depressed me.  I then realized that it doesn’t matter who is in or at my wedding.  What matters the most is the marriage and commitment between me and Fiance.

Post # 7
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

I’m the same way. I just don’t connect well with peopel my age, especially girls. It sucks and I hate it, but my fiance has two amazing sisters who have become my own so I’m okay with that. Except now we live 2,000 miles away from them which is a bummer but I’m sure once I start working and go back to school I’ll meet people. 

In my wedding though I’m only having my sisters + his sisters + one of my cousins. I personally prefer it to be this way because friendships can change and I wouldn’t want people that I no longer care for in my wedding pictures. 

Post # 8
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am so relieved to read that I am not the only person who feel like this. I am 27 and even though we hung out with a bunch of people in HS, we all grew apart- college, some of us grew up/ some didn’t, moving. I also didn’t associate with many people in college and Fiance didn’t go. I lived off campus, was a full time students, and had 2 jobs. Now that we both have careers and a daughter, going out happens once in a blue moon and even then we are not the type to spark up a convo with strangers. I am a teacher so I have many “friends” at school, but I don’t know many of the people well enough to invite them to something so intimate in my life. Because of this we are only having a Maid/Matron of Honor and a best man. Since my sister and I aren’t close she is not even going to be in my wedding. Every time I look at my guest list I get a lil depressed. I am just hoping that we have more friends at our wedding than his parents will (FMIL HAD to invite all her BFF’s that she claims practically helped raise FI). I just keep telling myself that those that will be there are the people that we truly love and care about and that would do anything for us.

Post # 9
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m 20 and I can relate! I’m exactly the same way. I’m away at college. I’m always busy with school, work, and staying close to my Fiance and spending every minute I can with him. unfortunately my friendships have suffered and I’ve grown apart from my once-close friends. I’m glad to know I’m not the only on! It’s embarrassing sometimes…

 

@pierogi:  I feel the same way about the bridesmaid situation!

Post # 10
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was in your shoes (still am) and did not have a bridal party. 

Darling Husband had grown apart so much with his old friends he had no men to stand up with him and didn’t want me to ask my friends to stand for both of us. So we just did away with it altogether. 

It’s def. not typical but worked for us. 

I wish I had people I could have chosen but seeing how those friends did not show up even as guests… I’m glad we had no party to begin with. 

Post # 11
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can totally relate! I have 3 bridesmaids – my sister, BFF, and really good friend). What I am finding though is that our wedding won’t be very young, as in we don’t have many friends to invite, so it will mainly be our family. Honestly, Out of a 120 person guest list, only 10-15 will be our friends (and that is counting plus ones too!)

Post # 12
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had some friends, but then moved to another province and over two years later I don’t really have friends. I’ve moved around alot in my 20’s so I’m sort of used to it now that I’m almost 30. I keep in touch with the people I’ve made friends with but it gets hard. I have my best friend since high school and we’ve hardly lived in the same town since but have remained close. Now I work in a small office with people twice my age and they don’t do social things with coworkers. So for me my decision was easy, my best friend, two sisters and a cousin that I am pretty close with.

It would be nice to have some friends were I live, hopefully one day. It is really hard to get in with women in a new town because I find they have their circle of friends and things they do and they don’t include new people. And I’m definitely not into going to the bar to make friends!

Post # 13
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I also do not have very many friends that I would consider close enough to me that I would like to stand up with me at my wedding. My few close friends are spread throughout the world and I don’t think they would be able to pay the costs of travel to come. I’ve debated not having a wedding party altogether but at the same time it seems kind of lonely.

Post # 14
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I only have one real gf left, use to have a lot of friends in high school but now being 28 they have moved/lost touch. I’m just going with a small wedding, very few family and maybe my gf, no need to invite tons of old friends and distance family when they probably won’t come, lol.

Post # 15
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

AHH you just wrote my story haha…. I am 22 I work full time and go to school full time my Fiance doesnt drink, we dont party I only have one good friend and my Fiance works a lot and lost most of his friends bc he doesnt drink and all the ppl he works with are waaay older so we are having a tiny bridal party… my Bestie  of 18 yrs is Maid/Matron of Honor, FI’s brother is the best man and his sister is my Bridesmaid or Best Man and my brother is his Groomsmen… its tiny and i like it I can be confident that all of these ppl will be in my lfe forever so I dont have to look back on my pics and be like “oh yeah remeber her?”.

Post # 16
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I feel the same way! I had a hard time deciding who to ask to be a bridesmaid, because I felt like most of my friends are more like acquaintances. I’m a quieter/shy person, so it’s hard for me to make friends. 

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