Post # 1
I have this re-occuring argument with my SO. I can’t get through to him, and I am asking your bees help. I am not sure who is in the wrong, if its me or him. Here is the argument:
I am not a morning person, never ever have been. He wakes up at 5am, but doesn’t have to be at work till 8am. I push my time all the way to the end. I don’t have to be at work till 8am, so I sleep in till 6:30am.
This makes him irrate. He feels that since he is up I need to be up. This is our first year living together, so I know these are just growing pains. But I don’t feel that I need to change my routine, if it doesn’t effect anyone directly.
How can I explain this to him? Or am I in the wrong?
Post # 2
He thinks you should get up at 5:00 am because he does? That’s nuts. Tell him to leave you alone. I get up earlier than my husband nearly every day because I have to be to work earlier than he does. I never expect him to get up with me.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I don’t see any reason why you should need to be up until you need to be up.
Does he want you to cook him breakfast or something?
Post # 4
That’s insane. If he wants to be up at 5am, that’s his prerogative, not my problem. As a non-morning person myself (I’ll easily sleep till noon on weekends, DH gets up around 8 or 9, has his coffee, does his thing and leaves me to sleep), there is no way I’d get up for work 1 minute before I have to.
Post # 5
Danni331: WTF is he doing for 3 hours in the morning?! And what does he feel like you need to be up for? If you want to sleep until 6:30, I don’t think there is any reason why you shouldn’t.
I’m not a morning person either and I have flexible hours, so I don’t have to get up at a certain time. FI gets up at 6:30 to leave for work at 8. I get up with him at about 7:40 to make him breakfast and pack his lunch, then I go back to bed at 8 most of the time because I’m still tired. Lazy, I know.
Post # 6
I’m on your side as well. I’m not a morning person either. He’d only make the mistake of pissing me off that early a couple times lol.
Post # 7
That’s crazy… we never get up at the same time! My DH wakes up a lot earlier than me on weekends, he just naturally wakes up at around 7am, whereas I sleep at least ’till 9 if there’s no reason for me to be up earlier.
On the other hand, during the week, I wake up earlier than him, because I need to take an hour to drink my coffee and actually ”wake up”, whereas he can just jump out of bed and into his trousers and out the door.
It’s completely normal!! Ask your boyfriend how he would feel if you decided to go to bed at 7.30pm and forced him to go to bed with you!!
There is no way he’s in the right here. If he wants a morning cuddle or something, you could compromise by waking up 15mins earlier, but wanting anything more than that is not fair.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
My FI is the same as yours, as far as wanting to get up early and have time to do whatever before work. I am exactly like you. I push it till the last possible moment. The difference is, my FI likes his morning time alone, as he gets to watch whatever he wants on tv/dvr, play video games etc. It is his time. He knows I like to “lie in” and sleep and he respects that.
I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe try to find out what he wants out of you in those early hours. Does he just miss your company? (trying to give the benefit of the doubt) I’m guessing he was raised with the values of getting up early and getting your day started, or whatever. He may view you as lazy for wanting to sleep in. If it were me, I would probably tell him to suck it, but that’s just me.
Post # 9
You definitely don’t need to be up when he is. My husband is also not a morning person and I will let him sleep in until the last possible second before I wake him. It’s nice when he does wake up with me, on his own, but that’s up to him. I’d rather have him wake up happy on his own terms than early with me and be grumpy.
Post # 10
My husband and I used to have this issue. I am not a morning person, either, and I require more sleep than average. Anyways, he used to force me to get up with him early. I guess he just realized that I value my sleep and he doesn’t bother me anymore about it. It took a few times of me angrily telling him that I need more sleep. He accepts that now and we don’t have any more issues regarding that. 🙂
Post # 11
Danni331: I guess I’m bothered most by your statement that he is “irrate” that you don’t get up with him. What do you mean by that?
Post # 12
Danni331: He’s cray cray and should really respect that fact that you don’t need to get up til 6:30. I don’t know if he has to tip toe around you in the bedroom or if the bathroom is in the bedroom, but still, he should work it out. It just seems there are some things you can’t see eye to eye on, like those early people vs late people. The neat freaks vs the slobs.
Post # 13
That’s just silly. I work a compressed shift, so I’m only at work three days a week. I definitley don’t get up with my husband on my days off! We get up at the same time when I am working, because we both work in the same area and start at the same time, but we’re both last minute people, we get up at 6 AM and start work at 7 AM. If he got up earlier he wouldn’t expect the same from me, and vice versa.
Why does he think you need to be up at 5 AM? Have you actually had a discussion with him about it? I would just tell him that you don’t need to be up at 5 AM, and prefer the extra sleep. I can’t see any valid reason for you to get up at the same time he does.
Post # 14
Maybe he’s trying to find extra time to spend with you? Irrate though? He needs to understand that sometimes a lady needs her beauty rest 😉
Post # 15
He’s definitely in the wrong. When my DH and I first moved in together, he would always want me to wake up early with him on the weekends, because that man simply can’t sleep in. He would open the blinds, turn on the lights, take the blanket…anything to get me to wake up and have breakfast with him or go for a morning walk. He was excited to spend time with me, but honestly, I would rather sleep at 6:30am on a weekend morning lol.
He soon gave that up when he felt my rath and since then he leaves me to sleep. However I now get up very shortly after he does, because I enjoy that morning time together.
We both have to get up at the same time for work, so this was only a weekend problem.
You need to talk to him and just say, you really need/enjoy that extra 1.5 hours of sleep in the morning, otherwise you can’t function. There is absolutely no reason that you need to be awake at the same hours. Does he make you go to bed at the same time too?