Post # 1
SO my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are going on our 3rd week of being LD and WOW, it is hard. I am very excited for what is to come – getting engaged, then married, then moving to be with him – but I miss him so much. I just came back frm seeing him yesterday and had a mini-breakdown at work; so embarassing, now my coworkers think it is the trips making me stressed out. NO, not taking the trips would stress me out!!!!
In the meantime, I am trying to save up money for when I move to be with him so our plan of me visiting him every 2 weeks is getting harder on my finances and it may have to be switched to evey 3 weeks now and that thought is so hard.
I’m thinking I have to get back in my routine again; just seems that the few days after seeing him and the last few days before seeing him are the hardest, anyone else feel that way?
Anyway, since it seems that there are so many of you lovely bees in this situation I was hoping for some support/ encouragement… Does it get easier?
Post # 3
It does get easier, because you get used to it, and into a routine. But it doesn’t get easier to be apart from each other, unfortunately. 🙁
Keep yourself busy, and keep in close communication – those are the things that helped us the most!
I actually found that there was a great silver lining to our LDR; I had opportunities to do stuff that I wouldn’t have time for in a ‘normal’ relationship, and I was able to build some really great friendships with single women. One of my closest friends now is actually a widow just a few years older than me – it was great becoming friends with her, because she understood what it is to be in love, and to miss someone, and she gave us some really amazing relationship advice about appreciating the time you have with the person you love that has helped us on more than a few occassions to keep conflict in perspective. But she’s also single, so we were able to hang out and not feel like anyone was a third wheel or whatever.
In a lot of ways, having a period of LDR in our relationship really taught us how to coexist as a couple but still retain our individuality and not be so codependent on each other, which has been a struggle for both of us in the past. Now that we’re together, we both feel totally confident spending time apart from each other (like girls nights out, etc.) and are able to have really great friendships, even with our single friends (which I’ve heard a lot of couples struggle with).
As you find your routine in your relationship, you’ll find ways to keep yourself busy, and you may even find that there are opportunities to do things you love. Just focus on those benefits, and keep communicating with your SO regularly.
Also, having a (mutual) timeline or end point for the distance also REALLY helps, because you know what to expect and can be realistic with yourself.
Post # 4
daydreamwanderer – Thank you so much! I just needed to hear from someone who has been there. We definitely keep in close communication and we do have an end point plan so that does help. I really appreciate your words of encouragement and support, really helps! Thanks again!
Post # 5
Have you browsed the LDR board much? There are a lot of really great threads with encouragement from those who are there or have been there! They may not be current, but there’s still truth to be had 🙂