(Closed) Not allowing guests to bring a date?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What will your guest list look like?
    All guests will be permitted to invite a date : (54 votes)
    44 %
    Unmarried guests will not be permitted to invite a date to save costs : (23 votes)
    19 %
    We are undecided : (9 votes)
    7 %
    Other (Specify below) : (38 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @BridalBlondie: I can’t vote in your poll because none of the answers fit.

    Here’s what we are doing:

    1) Married, engaged, or living together gets a +1

    2) Bridal party & groomsmen get a +1

    3) Couples not living together are invited ONLY if we would invite each individual separately if they were not dating.

    Post # 4
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We are allowing guests (not married/ engaged) only on the following basis:

    1. We know and are also friends with the bf/ gf.

    2. The couple lives together and pretty much functions as a married couple.

    3. The person is travelling from far away/ overseas and would like to bring their current bf/ gf “home” with them.

     

    We aren’t allowing people to just bring random guests or have dates as a matter of course. That would be a nightmare in terms of numbers, and also we don’t really want a bunch of people we don’t know at all at our wedding.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We allowed every guest to bring a date. Those who were not in serious relationships declined the offer but thank us for giving the option.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We allowed every guest to bring a date. Those who were not in serious relationships declined the offer but thank us for giving the option.

    Post # 6
    Member
    767 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    One of my good friends from college was having her wedding in FL (when we lived in Boston), she asked me to not bring my Boyfriend or Best Friend at the time, because she was trying to trim the guest list adn the wedding was SO expensive.  I thought I have to fly to FL, pay for a hotel fro 2 night, and get you a gift.  I KNOW that your cost were a plate is less than what I’ll have to pay to come to your wedding (she also had it during Spring break season so plane tickets were really high).  I was really insulted and ended up not going to her wedding.  With that in mind, now that I’m having my own, I build a guest list that everyone can bring a guest.  If its too long with that then trim who you invite.  I don’t think its important that your guests have a good time (which will help if they can bring someone).  Everyone can do what they want at their wedding, but its something that was important to me.   

    Post # 7
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We allowed dates for married, engaged, or long-term/live-in relationships. No “flavor of the months” or people bringing friends as dates just to have a date.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We allowed everyone to bring a date.  All of our unmarried guests brought their fiance, boyfriend, or girlfirend. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Everyone in a serious relationship or who were traveling from a long distance were allowed to bring a date.

    Post # 10
    Member
    6830 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We are allowing all guests to have a plus 1.  Though I am limiting my Maid/Matron of Honor for her daughters who are teens on bringing dates. That is just more drama than it is worth right there.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We’re extending a +1 to all of our guests. We have very few single guests (well most are not married, but in serious long term relationships), so we’re not worried about the few “randoms” we might get.

    If a majority of our friends were single, we might rethink this.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We allowed all of our guests to bring a guest!

    Guest enjoyment was very important to us and we believe everyone is more comfortable with a guest and so we made our small guest list (60 invitees) with this in mind.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5800 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    The bridal party got a +1, people flying in were given +1s and people in serious realtionships were given +1s (dating over a yr, engaged, living together)

    Post # 14
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    In the beginning I wasn’t going to give +1’s to anyone not in a serious relationship, but as the planning went on and I saw just how many people were getting a +1 for a significant other I knew I gave up and just counted everyone as a couple.  If every guest that is not in a serious relationship brings a date I’ll have maybe 10 random people at the wedding.  Totally not worth the chance of making a guest or two uncomfortable.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Sassygrn: Whoa yea. Did I have to clarify that anyone under 18 is not allowed a guest?!

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