(Closed) Not allowing guests to bring a date?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What will your guest list look like?
    All guests will be permitted to invite a date : (54 votes)
    44 %
    Unmarried guests will not be permitted to invite a date to save costs : (23 votes)
    19 %
    We are undecided : (9 votes)
    7 %
    Other (Specify below) : (38 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    9028 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If i know the guest and know their date then yes they can bring them. but if i dont know their date and they arent married, engaged or living together then i really dont see why they wanna come anyway since they wont know me. Right now my guest list is tight so not every single person can bring a +1

    Post # 47
    Member
    645 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    1) All wedding party get a date

    2) If you’re with someone exclusively when I address the invitations, that person will be invited by name; regarless of marital/living/etc (in your late 20s/30s, things can get very serious very fast… I’m not going to exclude anyone’s future wife/husband.)

    3) If you’re traveling a long distance and don’t know anyone, you get a date

    4) If it ends up everyone but 2 or 3 get dates, everyone will just get a date.

    Post # 48
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think this is definitely different for each bride and groom, and I see everyone’s point. We are giving everyone over the age of 18 a plus one. I don’t believe its fair to judge the “seriousness” of someone’s relationship based on if they live together or a number of years.

    Post # 49
    Member
    5151 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We offered the option for all of our guests to bring a date. It was a destination wedding and a lot of our friends would have not come alone/enjoyed themselves as much without offering a date. It turned out great 🙂

    Post # 50
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @karenski: I agree.  This whole “flavor of the month” idea that has everyone so hepped up is not something I would worry about.  Most of my friends are married/engaged/living together for years.  The few that aren’t, I would completely trust to not bring anyone they weren’t serious about (and as one poster noted, serious in early 30s is different than serious in early 20s). 

    Post # 51
    Member
    5095 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I voted “other.”  Basically, we are only having named invitations – no “and guest.” Anyone with a serious relationship (they don’t have to be living together, just serious) is invited together with their SO, who is named on the invitation. Anyone else is just invited on their own. Luckily, the few people who aren’t in relationships right now have lots of close friends who will be there, so I don’t think it will be an issue.

    Post # 52
    Member
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee

    My bf and I think its crazy and certainly in our circle, rude and abnormal to not let everyone attending over the age of 21 have a +1.  Obviously if you are under 21 and married or engaged you would both be invited to, but we don’t know anyone that fits that bill.  He thought I was kidding when I told him that on WB it seems a lot of people don’t let their guests have a +1.

    Post # 53
    Member
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We’re allowing dates but would probably not invite those who have just been in a casual relationship if space was limited.

    Post # 54
    Member
    2767 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    we allowed all guests above the age of 18 to bring a date.  But when my aunt asked if my cousin who is in high school could bring her boyfriend I said “no” because then other high schoolers invited to our wedding might have wanted to bring dates too!  And this wasn’t HS prom, it was a wedding!  

    Post # 55
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Only engaged, married or live in couples can bring a date. Its just too expensive otherwise plus we want to limit it to people we actually know.

    Post # 56
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @KatNYC2011: We are doing the same thing as your rules!

    Post # 57
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Not counting family, I have 4 people on the guestlist that are single. I don’t plan on inviting them with a +1 as NONE of them are seriously dating anyone. However, If they wanted to bring a date, I would try to accomodate them. Since we are having a backyard, buffet-style wedding reception, we can be a bit more flexible. We are still trying to keep our numbers around 60, though we are planning for 70.

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