(Closed) Not announcing our engagement…

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
3662 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I think you should do whatever makes the two of you comfortable. You don’t owe anyone an annoucement or show or anything of the sort. It’s your relationship to lead as you two see fit. As for your bio dad, if you think he’s going to find out about it anyway, and depending on your relationship with him, I think it would be nice if the information came from you, but that’s totally your decision. If anything just tell him you don’t have everything worked out yet. But telling him is not a requirement at all. And most importantly, congratulations!! 🙂

Post # 3
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Congratulations! I think the answer depends entirely on your history and relationship with him, and what you and your fiancée prefer. Does he support the relationship? Is he in your lives? What are you hoping for by telling him or not telling him? Is it possible to inform him without him expecting an invitation? Can you tell him but at the same time vaguely say you might be eloping but haven’t decided? Good luck, OP!

Post # 4
Member
6835 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Congratulations!!! I’m sorry that you don’t have more people in your life whose opinions would be something like “omg yay!!!!!” You’ll find a lot of support here if you want 🙂

Post # 7
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
futuresurprisewedding:  We told very few people (just a few friends in person, no family) because we had a surprise wedding with our immediate families there. I never told my biological father anything about it, but I haven’t spoken to him in a few years anyway, I’m not sure if he even knows were married now. 

Post # 8
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

We have been engaged for over 6 weeks and I’m just getting to the point where I’m thinking maybe its okay to discuss it on social media. I didn’t want to deal with it while trying to figure out what I really wanted for my wedding and getting the guest list hammered out. You are more than entitled to your privacy.. its the two of you that matter. By The Way, Congratulations and the best to the two of you!

Post # 10
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

We started planning our wedding in March/April and haven’t made any social media announcements. It’s been really nice to surprise our closest friends, rather than have hundreds of “likes” from people we aren’t really THAT close with. If you and your Fiance are more private people (like we are), it’s absolutely acceptable to not make a social media announcement. There is this expectation from society these days that we must post every little thing going on in our lives, but I often wonder- well, how did my parents do it? They didn’t have Facebook or text messages… They probably called up their closest friends and family and told them personally. Which in my experience, has resulted in way better reactions than the ones you’d get on social media! 

Congratulations!! Do what is best for you!

Post # 12
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

YES!! Its been so cool to tell people and not have them say, “Oh yeah, I saw it online”. I think it is so nice to get their actual reactions! I also decided not to invite ALL of my family and friends (we are talking hundreds on my side alone vs. the 75-90 total we envision), so this makes it easier.

Post # 14
Member
13801 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
futuresurprisewedding:  It sounds as if you’re sayng your father is supportive in theory, but has never gone out of his way to meet Fiance. How long has he known about her? Do you think he was waiting for you to suggest the relationship had become serious or that you’d like them to meet? Do you think it’s worth giving him a chance to see how he reacts after you tell him about your engagement? 

Congrats! 

Post # 15
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Great decision FSW (hence, your name!). I think it is great! You will be surrounded by the people who mean the most to you.

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