(Closed) not asked to be bridesmaid

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I understand how that’s hurtful for you, but there are some positives here. Being a bridesmaid is a lot of work, and a lot of money. At least you won’t have to deal with buying a dress, shoes, jewelry, shower, bachelorette party, etc.

Post # 4
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Choosing bridesmaids is a difficult and very personal decision.  I’m sure she has her reasons for choosing who she chose, and it’s not very nice of you to be upset at her for her decisions.  It hurts when you’re not chosen, trust me, been there, but no one has a “right” to be a bridesmaid.  You should not cause her stress or try to retailiate at her for not choosing you or your other sister.  It’s just a title, maybe just try to be supportive of her.

Post # 5
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You seriously wouldn’t attend her wedding because of that? That’s kinda jacked.

I would be so happy not to have been asked…being a bridesmaid is such a pain in the butt!

I’m so glad I saved myself the drama of choosing amongst my girlfriends/hurting feelings and just picking my brother as my Man of Honor.

Post # 6
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow… I’m sorry but your post just comes across as whiney and entitled.  I truly hope you are just posting out of anger rather then what you really plan to do.

Post # 7
39 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with no one has the “right” to be a bridesmaid. She picked who she picked for her reasons. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate you. That is saying because I didn’t pick every single girl in my life that is one of my best friends then…I clearly don’t appreciate them. That isn’t how it is. I hope you are just posting out of anger too…and that you will still help her, be happy for her and attend the wedding.

Post # 8
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I understand that you’re disappointed but don’t let it get the best of you. Be sad, shake it off, and get back to being happy for your cousin.

Post # 9
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly, you’re being extremely petty. And if you’re the type of friend to sit around and judge her choices, particularly ones like this that do not affect you and are none of your business whatsoever, and discuss it with your mom and actually go to the trouble of making an account to whine online about it, you don’t sound like such a great friend. Seriously, why can’t you just be happy for her and her wedding/marriage? Why the need to make it about you?


I mean really, ‘foreign soil sister’? And threatening to not attend the wedding? Whether or not you are in her wedding really should not affect you, and the drama you are trying to create is completely unnecessary. Let the grudge go. She is getting married and instead of having her family be happy for them she just gets them trying to stir up trouble over stupid crap. I feel bad for her.

Post # 10
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You get to pick your bridesmaids,  why can’t she do the same without such harsh critique?  There’s a lot of stress in planning a wedding without this judgement from family.  I’m sure she has valid reasons for choosing who she did. 

Goto her wedding and enjoy yourself.  There’s worse things in life than not being picked to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 11
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The last wedding I was at, I wasn’t a bridesmaid, and I didn’t care one bit.  I’ve been friends with her since grade school.  She has other friends than me and she knows our strengths and weaknesses.

I may not have been chosen, but I was 100% fully supportive and excited about everything for her.  That’s what I felt it’s all about.  Surrounding her with love and positivity. It’s for her, not for me.  Her vision, not mine.

In the end, being Bridesmaid or Best Man, Maid/Matron of Honor, what have you, doesn’t matter.  It’s just a title, you should be happy she’s happy.

Post # 12
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Maybe your cousin knows that you and your other sister think of her as overweight and jealous of your and doesn’t want people like that standing next to her on that important day?

Seriously, in a few months go back and read your post again. If you still agree with yourself, do your cousin a favor and let her have real friends who don’t think they are “owed” something for being there for her!



Post # 13
7553 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i agree with PPs, you should not refuse to attend the wedding because she didn’t pick you, there are several threads on here about brides dealing with people who get angry about not being chosen to be in the bridal party, and often comments are usually centred around a theme – if they choose not to come because of that, you’re better off without them.

if you refuse to go to your cousin’s wedding because of this, good luck keeping a relationship of any kind with her

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