(Closed) Not asking grooms cousin to be in the bridal party

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If your Fiance is close to her but ou aren’t she could stand up on his side (thoug that does make an already large bridal party even bigger) or you could include her by asking her to do some special part of the ceremony, such as a reading. I do think that you should try to include her, since it would hurt anyone to be excluded from a group in the way you describe. 

Post # 4
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

View original reply
erin0889:  this is a tough one – she sounds like she could be trouble if she feels left out.

Have you considered creating a role for her? So… not a Bridesmaid, but she could still wear a pretty dress and be involved somehow.

I’m really tired RN so the best I can offer is adult flowergirl but I’m not suggesting that’s the best/only option – it’s just all I can think of!

Or she could do a reading like Tigerlilybride suggested. 

Good luck bee xx

Post # 5
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee

I think you should include her. Put yourself in her position – being the one cousin not included would sting. Isn’t this a chance to get closer to her? And this would isolate her from the other cousins too. Since she hasn’t done anything harmful to you, I would invite her. Yes, you’re not that close, but you’re doing the kind thing, and maybe it’ll bring you together.

Post # 6
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm

View original reply
erin0889:  I’m of the view that Brides Party = Brides friends. Grooms Party = grooms Friends. Just don’t ask and don’t worry about it. Heck I didn’t even invite half of my husband’s family much less try to squeeze a roll out for everyone. It’s really not a big deal. Like at all. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Olgarie.
Post # 7
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

having been that person that was the only one left out, it isn’t very nice but I got over it. It’d be nice of you to find a way to include her given that the wedding sounds like a bigun already, asking her to be a bridesmaid would be a nice thing to do and would be a drop in the ocean in the big picture. 

Post # 9
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

View original reply
erin0889:  Ask her to do a reading and give her a corsage or a flower crown. And maybe ask her in a very cute way so that way she feels honored to be a reader? I am doing this with FI’s sister in law. I feel ya bee.

Post # 10
Member
5151 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
erin0889:  Is she the ONLY cousin not included?

Post # 13
Member
11515 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
erin0889:  I’d ask her to do a reading or be involved in another way.

Post # 14
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

I disagree with the PPs that said to include her.  It’s not okay to discard the people you feel are closest to you to have this cousin included in the bridal party. 

Post # 15
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee

You are NEVER required to include anyone in your bridal party.  You said you aren’t close with her so you shouldn’t ask her.  Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest, and if she is not considered one of your nearest and dearest then don’t include her.  If she gets upset that she wasn’t asked, that is her problem to deal with, not yours.  So please don’t feel any pressure to include her if you really don’t want to.

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