(Closed) Not asking sister to be in bridal party – how to handle?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I know this is probably not what you want to here but I think in the long run you will regret not having her in the bridal party. Have your 3 girls and all the people you want in your bridal party but at the end of the day, feelings WILL be hurt if you don’t include her. Listen, I didn’t always get along with my sister, especially when I was younger and she didn’t always love my current fiance. They use to fight like cats and dogs! Seriously! However. 4-5 years later and I AM close with her now. I am a believer that family is who you make it but at the same time I think the friends we make (even the ones we’ve known 20+ years) are not always there in the future when you need them. That’s just my 2 cents. I mean at the end of the day you need to do what makes you happy though. If you feel that strongly about her not being in it, then don’t include her. But if your feeling about it aren’t that strong, I think you should include her. Maybe this is a chance to mend things.

Post # 3
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I have to agree with wind… Don’t make your life harder than it has to be. Also, a slight like not including her in the wedding is something that may never be gotten over. I would say, why not include her, err on the side of caution and remember that friends come and go…but family is forever…

Post # 4
Member
11522 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with the prior posters. I would add your sister to your bridal party. 

You can still have your three closest friends as your first three bridesmaids. Just increase the size of your bridal party. My DH has four children, one of whom was married and another who was in a serious relationship (they have since married) at the time of our wedding. It was important to my DH to include all six of the “kids” in our bridal party. I still had my three closest girl friends, but I also wanted my sister in law (brother’s wife) and all of my new family in our wedding. Yes, we had a large bridal party, but I can’t imagine not having included them. 

Post # 5
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

I think you should choose the bridesmaids who would make you the happiest, so leave out your sister. If she asks why, list the reasons you just gave. I know this isn’t a popular view, but life is too short to waste on people who make you unhappy, even if they are family. I’m not close with my sister either, and it would be weird and honestly a drag if she were a bridesmaid in my wedding.

Post # 6
Member
7426 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think you should add her to your wedding party.

Post # 7
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I dont see anything wrong with wanting people who supported you in your relationship to stand by you on your day. She clearly doesnt aprove of the relationship so standing there would be hypocritical. So i say dont ask her, and if she ask why you tell her. Wedding planning is stressful sometimes so you dont need somebody with that attitude making it more difficult. Have fun with your friends as bridesmaids.

Post # 8
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you should include her in your bridal party. My friend was not included in her sister’s bridal party and she felt extremely hurt by it.

Post # 9
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Include her for what? Your bridal party should consist of people who love and support you and your relationship. She dosen’t even approve of you marrying this man, so her standing up there would be just for show. There is no rule that says you have to include your siblings in your wedding party, I have 3 sisters and only one of them will be in my wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

If you don’t feel strongly one way or the other, include her. I don’t think you’ll ever regret including her, but you may very well regret not including her. As someone else pointed out, you may become closer with her in the future. If you feel strongly about NOT including her, then don’t, and stick to your decision. But I’d really give it a lot of consideration before you decide. If you don’t include her, it may be more grief than it’s worth.

Post # 12
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - The Victorian

My sister is not in my wedding party. I do love her, but with everything considered, it just doesn’t make sense to have her in my bridal party. I want ZERO drama amongst my wedding party and the 3 people I do have, I have complete faith that they will be wonderful. I am going to ask my sister to do a reading or something though, so maybe that might be a concession?

Post # 13
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
princesserbear and OP, it helps seeing that I’m not alone with this issue! I wish I could offer you more than just understanding and support, but I haven’t quite moved beyond this particular hang-up myself. Whatever happens, I wish you the best!

Post # 15
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think including her in your bridal party is a good idea…she could be really hurt if you don’t. I was in my sister-in-law’s bridal party and I am not close with her…I asked her to be in mine as well even though I honestly did not want to. Sometimes you just have to make choices that won’t hurt your family’s feelings.

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