(Closed) Not asking sister to be in bridal party – how to handle?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
36 posts
Newbee

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maocat:  

From another Asian’s perspective.. I would say add her to the party. In the Asian culture, it would be a huge slap in the face to both her and your parents if you didn’t have her in your party… and she seems pretty “traditional.” I could also see your Mom using the exclusion of a family member in the bridal party as a sticking point for how you’re “going against” family and forsaking family, etc. If your sister can mind her manners during the wedding process, I think it’ll cause less drama just to include her.

Post # 17
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I was not close with my sister either, but I still had her in the wedding. 2.5 years later I would say we have grown closer while my closest and dearest friends who were also in the wedding have grown apart. There is something special about Family imo.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by  Carrie2979.
Post # 19
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Star Spangled Banner Flag House Museum

If she is intentionally negative and overall not supportive of you, why include her? Don’t do it because everyone thinks you should, or because it’s the easy way to avoid drama. I believe that bridesmaids should be people that have supported you in life and througout your relationship…it sounds like she does not fit that bill. Good luck with your decision.

Post # 20
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

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maocat:  wishing you happy nuptials. I know your decision will sit right with all involved. 

Post # 21
Member
1806 posts
Buzzing bee

Not only are my sister and I not close (never have been) but I actually dislike her. She is a source of constant drama for everyone around her, my parents included. I wish things were different but they aren’t, despite repeat efforts towards her. I don’t feel obligated to include her in the day’s events and neither should you. I would regret it more if the tension between us and having her so close to me (as a member of the wedding party) erupted in drama than if I had her as only a guest. I don’t want to look back on my day and think there were parts of it I really didn’t like because I felt obligated to include her.

Post # 22
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee

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maocat:  

I am surprised with how many people said to add her. You get to do this once and if you really feel like it would be better not to add her than don’t it’s your day not anyone else’s it should just be about you and your fiance. Besides this is how you will gain ground seperating from your family. I too came from a controlling family and it wasn’t until I went out on my own against their wishes that our realtionship finally started to rebuild and become healthy don’t foster negative relationships it’s time to be adult and live your own life. 

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