(Closed) Not attending wedding AND No boxed gifts?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

No boxed gifts? I don’t understand what that means. I would call her and ask her to clarify so that you get her what she wants 🙂

Post # 4
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sounds like she is asking for money…

Post # 5
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My guess is she doesn’t want boxed gifts at her wedding ceremony? Maybe they can’t arrange wedding gifts to get to her house after the wedding itself? I’m not sure… does she have a registry? I’d call her or email her & see what she means.

Post # 6
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Perhaps she means not to gift wrap it and just send it in regular manf boxes?

Macys has this option for you to check to be more “green” so that guests don’t waste resources gift wrapping the present then putting it in another shipping container.

Is there a Maid/Matron of Honor you can ask?

Post # 8
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, this would mean money to me.

I’m assuming that either they are having a destination wedding, and don’t want to haul all that stuff back, they are moving soon after the wedding, and don’t want to move all that stuff period, or they don’t need anything and are asking for money and/or gift cards.

If you are close to them and can think of a place that they’d love a gift card too, you could do that as well!

Post # 9
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i’m pretty sure that’s the “polite” way of saying we want cash.

Post # 10
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No boxed gifts = money.

I will feel more comfortable sending a gift card than a check.  Maybe to someplace general like Macy’s, Target, Bed, Bath and Beyond, etc.

Post # 12
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m guessing that by not asking for boxed gifts- they probably have everything that they really need and don’t see the need to register and get gifts just because it’s the traditional and usually most common thing to do.

Since they asked, I think that sending cash/check is acceptable.  I think that by sending a gift card you’re kind of ignoring the boxed gift note- i think that if you send a gift card and they open it, eventhough they could use it, money is what they want and it may be going towards something larger that they want, like a down payment on a house, or something of that nature.

Post # 13
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is a popular request for cash instead of formal gifts.

Post # 14
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yeah, “No boxed gifts” is usually how a couple tries to express that they really can’t accommodate a bunch of stuff, either because they’re traveling some distance to/from the wedding or are having a long distance move, etc.  I would even be careful about gift cards, because sometimes if a couple is moving internationally right after the wedding, they won’t be able to use them.  Just give them a check or cash, it’s not tacky to give people what they want.

Post # 15
1 posts

Whether you think it was rude or not to write “no boxed gifts,” it’s rude on your behalf to get them gift cards when they clearly want money and they’re going out of their way to say so. Respect it or don’t get them anything.

Post # 16
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

LOL at it being rude to get them a gift card. She doesn’t have to get them s**t – she’s not even going to their wedding.

FWIW, I read “no boxed gifts” as “we don’t want to haul crap home from the wedding so either ship us a gift or bring cash/check/gift card” not “you’re an a**hole if you get us anything other than money”

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