Post # 1
Hey bees, I need some advice. I only have two bm (moh (best friend) and my cousin) so I thought dress shopping would be very easy. I told them the color (David’s Bridal calls it lapis, super deep eggplant) and said they can choose w/e they’re comfy in as long as it’s the same fabric, doesn’t need to be the same dress at all. My moh found one she liked so she wanted me to take a look at it (cousin couldn’t make it that day and moh was moving a few hours away the next week). Before I did she text the picture and style to my cousin who agreed it was cute and liked the chiffon fabric. I saw the dress on moh, and thought it was really pretty but more importantly she was comfortable in it and could see herself wearing it again.
Here’s the problem. Both of them are a bit bigger (I don’t mean to offend anyone by saying that btw) so finding something that works for them was something I left totally up to their opinion, I honestly have no idea of what style they would like on themselves, I have the body of a 14yr old boy lol. So moh loves her dress and we both thought cousin would too.
So cousin and I went to try on a few chiffon dresses (including moh’s) today and she doesn’t seem to like any of them. She just had a baby so she keeps saying “when I lose some weight this will look better” but I’m afraid she may not get her dress in enough time! I also asked her how she liked the chiffon and she said “it’s ok, it’s different”, so I feel like she doesn’t really like it. Unfortunately the color I chose translates very different from fabric to fabric.
I feel terrible, I offered to help pay for w/e dress she chooses instead of paying to get her hair done to help offset the costs on her. I really don’t want her to hate her dress. I feel like it’s a lot of body image for her right now and I can’t figure how to get through to her how great she looked in the ones she tried on!
I’m just going to let it be for a bit I think.
But what would you all do? And when should we have her dress ordered by?
Sorry this was so long bees 🙁
Post # 4
Do they really need to match? Why not let her choose something she likes in a shade of purple?
Post # 5
My mom and sister are both bigger so I understand the frustration of having to find something you think looks good on you. I just told them I wanted fall colors….that was all. They both wore chiffon dresses from David’s bridal btw in deep fall colors. They searched and searched for dresses and my sister didn’t get hers until 2 weeks before the wedding. But they loved them. Also, all DH’s family wore chiffon dresses and they are bigger girls too.
Post # 6
@mamadingdong: She really likes the color, just not how she looks in any styles. We tried pretty much every style and she wasn’t a fan of how they looked around her midsection. I text my moh about it and she told me she’s probably just becoming accustome to her body post baby.
@texasbee: Thanks for the info on the timeline, that eases my fears a bit! I honestly think chiffon rly compliments her because the fabric is so airy that it flows away from her body and gives her a nice shape.
I just wish I could get through to her how beautiful she is.
Post # 7
My guess is she’s probably looking pretty great in at least a couple of styles, but she’s going through some post pregnancy weight issues in her head. It’s about the time to order for a September wedding, so maybe you should just have her choose what she likes best, and tailor to fit the dress to her!
Post # 8
If she orders a dress now she still has time to lose weight AND get it tailored. That’s one option. The other would be to find out from DB when the absolute last date she could order it would be, and give her that. Whatever she decides to do she should do. I honestly think you are being very accommodating of your bridesmaids. I also picked a color and am letting my girls pick their own styles.
Post # 9
Thanks a lot for the help guys, I appreciate it.
Post # 10
It may be awkward, but maybe suggest some Spanx.
Post # 11
my BMs will be wearing the same dress, and they range from sizes 0 to 20 so we will be finding something that flatters them all, if they need to wear differnt undergarments to make them more comfortable then so be it.
Post # 12
I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man that was reluctant in the same way — I thought several of the dresses looked great on her but she wasn’t so sure. Once I realized she was sort of not feeling ANY of the options, I figured it was more about her not being terribly comfortable in a dress to begin with. I just ended up being a little more “pushy” about the one I thought looked best on her, saying “wow, this one looks great on you! Really feminine and really complements your body! Plus you don’t have to worry about what bra to wear, and it looks even better from the back!” and so on like that. She ended up getting pretty enthusiastic about the dress and is excited to wear it. So maybe that’s all your cousin needs — a LOT of compliments on the one you think looks best, and all the things you like about it, and maybe your words will be able to offset her own negative body perceptions a little bit.
Post # 13
@PinkFlemingo: Yea I think I’m going to give her until the end of May or so and then try again and bring my mom with to help be a cheerleading squad! 🙂
Srsly both of my girls are SO beautiful inside and out I just want them both to feel that way!
Post # 14
@lunathea: I loved that lapis color at David’s Bridal. We ordered our dresses REALLY early (10 months before the wedding) but only because they were going to be discontinued. I have found that the timelines David’s Bridal gives you are usually WAY off (they said my wedding dress was coming in 5 months and it showed up 10 days later…same with Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses).
Post # 15
I am a bigger girl and feel the best style that looks good on ME (I have a tummy) is anything with an empire waist…maybe try a dress like that if u haven’t before…that style can be very flattering on bigger body types and chiffon is a good fabric to use because it’s flowy and doesn’t cling so I think u got it right on the fabric…suggest some empire waist styles to her or something with rouching around the mid section…that’s what I would be more comfortable choosing…
Post # 16
Agree with JenniferSC , have you tried Spanx? I can realte to your Bridesmaid or Best Man post baby body blues, but she has to realize that although she might not look how she wants, she HAS to chose something! I refused to buy any clothing for almost a year after my twins were born, but I wasn’t in a wedding party!