(Closed) Not chosing own engagment ring….

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 137
Member
798 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FutureMrsHarmon:  I picked out my ring completely. I have been dreaming of my engagement ring since I was a little girl. I have been looking at pictures in magazines and eyeing rings on peoples hands as long as I can remember. He has not. If he bought me one, he wouldnt have spent nearly the time i have, since i was a little girl, picking out a ring for me. 

It is really expensive. Why should he blow tons of money on something I might not even like. For instance, i really hate all cuts but round. My Fiance told me he would have gotten me princess cut (my least favorite) because he feels that that is what he has heard of in ads and stuff. By me picking out my ring, I get what I have always dreamed of and he doesn’t waste his money on something I dont like. 

Moreover, I dont like the idea of getting engaged and it being a complete surprise. You make it sound like this is all terribly superficial. We talked about the important stuff- having kids, handling finances, fighting fair, everything about marriage. The proposal itself was a surprise but our plans weren’t because we are smart and really wanted to figure out if we wanted the same thing. 

Post # 138
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

He wanted it to be a surprise, so I didn’t have much to do with it. But I wouldn’t have minded going ring shopping. I think the proposing part can be the romantic part. 

Post # 139
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel this same way, but I completely understand why a girl would want to pick out her own ring. Fiance is an engineering student and LOVES designing. Before we were even serious about marriage, he would draw up ring ideas for me. He’s very into everything being custom. When it came to my ring, he was super involved and wanted his hand in every part of it. He also wanted everything to be a secret because he’s a romantic at heart. That’s. Just. Him.

 

I know some girls whose Fiance would have just went to Kay’s, picked out something that sparkled, and called it a day. It’s not that they don’t care. It’s just that they have NO CLUE about jewelry. They may even be suckered into buying something expensive just so that the salesperson can make a good commission. I can understand why a woman would want a say in her ring when they alternative may be ending up with a ring she knows she’ll hate for the rest of her life. Hell, maybe he would even end up buying something impractical for her job just because it’s expensive and most girls would LOVE it!

Post # 140
Member
798 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I know some girls whose Fiance would have just went to Kay’s, picked out something that sparkled, and called it a day. It’s not that they don’t care. It’s just that they have NO CLUE about jewelry. 

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@glitterbee:  THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY FI! All the way! 

Post # 142
Member
2732 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Really interesting opinions on this thread! The two opposite poles are represented here, haha! 

I’m a go-getter, assertive woman who absolutely had to pick out her own ring. I actually proposed to my boyfriend so I’m definitely one to ignore social norms and go my own way. I loved proposing to my man on the beach and he was «man» enough to enjoy being asked. He said yes and I gave him a classic white gold band. He then ended up chosing his own wedding band in titanium but still wears my white gold band from time to time. He got married with the white gold band I gave him. 

I had to love my ring which means I had to choose it. He had been buying jewelery I did not really like during our relationship. I love my ring so so so much and it is a symbol that reminds me of our vows. I don’t care at all that it wasn’t a surprise. In fact, it’s my birthday in 1 week and I picked out the pendant my husband should get me…wow, I’m really in control aren’t I? Ok, I’ll try to let go and have him come up with surprises 😉

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