(Closed) Not circumcising – how did your family & friends react?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 33
Member
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I had that conversation with my mom before I got pregnant too. Although we were discussing what to do about the bris b/c we’re Jewish, so if I said we weren’t going to do it there would be lots of issues and hissy fits. We would circumsize b/c of our religion so luckily we’ll never have that problem, and we’re having a girl so we really don’t have that problem now.

I would just do whatever you want though. There’s going to be plenty of decisions you’ll make as parents that people don’t agree with, but you’re the parents so they have to deal with it.

Post # 34
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would definitly have my boy circumsized.  I had a friend who had to have it done when he was about 17 also and it he was in the worst pain for months. He had wished his parents did it in the first place but they were from Russia and maybe didn’t commonly do it there. Anyway I don’t personally agree but I understand where you are coming from.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_analysis_of_circumcision

http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/circumcision

Anyway that being said, it is your choice. And you can just say you don’t believe the benefits outway the risk.

Post # 35
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I feel really lucky that my loved ones (my family and FI’s family) all agree that it’s unnecessary.

I have a few friends who think I’m “cruel” for not doing it. We’re not really that close anymore due to some really ignorant comments they made after my son was born.

Post # 36
Member
2029 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We didn’t circumsize, and both our parents voiced their opinion on the matter. My mother was worried we weren’t cleaning him properly and seemed grossed out by it when changing him the first time, but hasn’t said anything since. And my Mother-In-Law brought it up repeatedly at first, saying things like “He’s going to be ashamed of his body.” (wha—???) But even she stopped mentioning it after a month or so.

Post # 37
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

To answer the question, we haven’t had any type of reaction. No one has asked our plans, and really it isn’t anyone’s business to be asking. I guess I could see family or friends possibly asking if there were religious reasons, but for us, it has not been a part of normal conversation. Then again, he was not born in the US, and my mother did not have her sons circumcised, so I don’t think they had the expectation that we would.

My husband came home yesterday (finally, as I’m due in three weeks) and told me he made the decision not to circumcise. I’d left the ball in his court on that one, but was hoping that he would come to that conclusion.

Post # 38
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@MrsSawyer:

+ 1 for me exactly.

Only I also want to add that I would NEVER circumcise now because as long as they know how to take care of it, I think sex is better for men who are not circumcised.

I am no longer afraid of the foreskin

Post # 39
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Atalanta

I’m sorry for the threadjack OP, but there is a big difference between male circumcision and female circumcision (aka “FGM”).  I’ll spare the gory details here, but if you really want to know you can PM me.  I just felt the need to set that straight.

Post # 40
Member
2236 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@abbyful: Without directly answering my question you basically just told me that you haven’t ever actually met a man who was circumcised who wished he wasn’t. And honestly, if I met a guy who was attempting to manually stretch what skin he had left on his penis out i would find that to be MUCH more extreme than surgically altering their tongue. As I previously mentioned, I’m not trying to change your mind, just shine some light on why many people so strongly will disagree wiith your choice.

Post # 41
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee

I think we also need to put this in today’s light and not the thoughts from when men in and around our generations.

They’ve changed drastically.

I am willing to bet that in most lockers rooms in the US and Canada today the circumcised/uncirmcised rate is pretty even.

So if that is the case, there is no need for boys to be embarrased anymore, and that will fade away and as a result there will be less and less embarrased men, and so on and so on.

 http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/285540/circumcision_rates_fall_in_the_united.html?cat=25

Post # 43
Member
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@EleanorRigby:  They are both genital mutilation, I don’t care what excuses you make.

Post # 44
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t think this is supposed to be a “circumcision debate” thread.

As to the OP, I haven’t dealt with this particular issue, but people are going to question your parenting decisions, no matter what.  You’ll probably develop your own style for dealing with people who feel the need to tell you how to parent, and it will turn out to be no big deal.  Personally, I usually just nod, smile politely, and change the subject; easy peasy.  In the end, you are the parent and you make the decisions, so try not to let other people make you feel uncomfortable; if they don’t agree with you, it’s their problem, not yours.

Post # 45
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My ex was not circumcised as an infant and he said he had issues growing up with everything from being teased by other boys in the locker room  to girls being “scared” of his penis because it looked so odd and different. He got married at 25 years-old and actually, his fiancé (now his ex-wife) INSISTED that he be circumcised before she would sleep with or marry him. He said the recovery was the most painful thing he had ever been through, but despite the scarring, he was very happy with the results.

Post # 46
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just had my son in February. I was against circumcizing him for a few reasons — my Fiance is not circumsized (and honestly I never really even noticed…although I understand depending on the size of ‘it’ some guys would be more noticeably hidden under the foreskin).

So since I never noticed my FI’s being different, I was kinda like, “why does it matter?” The other reason is that when the day actually came when my son was born, I was very overwhelmed with emotion and did not want to intentionally inflict pain on my son.

However, Fiance convinced me that we should do it– basically he played the sob story that he always got made fun of in football (in high school) for being uncirc’d and didn’t want his son to go through that. So, I relented.

Then, the pediatrician that performed it cut a TON of foreskin off. It looked like she did it SOOO low….way lower than it needed to be. His entire penis shaft looked like it was cut. A few hours later, Fiance was changing Son and some of the penis was sorta stuck to his skin, so he pulled it, and it started to bleed like crazy. We called in the nurses and they ended up having to put htis foam stuff around it so that it would help the blood to clot. The screams from my son were the worst thing I’ve ever heard from him yet…I get teary eyed still thinking about it.

I was soooo mad at my Fiance for making us get him circumsized. Everything is fine now, and I know that my son will never remember any of it, but it was very traumatizing for something that truly is unnecessary!

And this is one thing I never htought I HAD to ask — if you are going to circumsize your child, find out what hte doctor’s technique is. After we were so upset about her cutting so much off, one of the nurses told us that every doctor is different and does it differently, but that no matter which “way” they do it — cutting off a lot or just barely a little — they are just fine.

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