(Closed) Not close to BM’s..

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 5
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would def ask your sister and fsil – they are family so it makes the most sense. And just keep your expectations low, but I am sure they will be flattered and it will be a way to bond.

Post # 3
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Don’t ask people to be in your bridal party just to have even sides. That seems like a recipe for drama. And you may be asking a lot of these people (e.g. dropping a chunk of change on a new outfit, participating in pre-wedding festivities, etc.), so they should be folks who are close to you. Since you are opposed to having an uneven number in your bridal party, maybe your Fiance needs to cut down his list to match yours. Or maybe there are guys who you are close to instead? The bridal party doesn’t have to be all female. Maybe you have some bride’s men instead? Or you can skip the entire idea of having a wedding party. It’s an option, not a law.

Post # 4
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What about your mom or a favorite aunt?  Or maybe if you’re close to any young girls, instead of having flower girls, you could have little “junior bridesmaids”? 

I am not that close to my bridal party and it’s been rough… It’s my sisters (who live far away and disapprove of my wedding/relationship for religious reasons), DF’s sister who I’m not that close with, and this girl I’ve been friends with for ~25 years, but she can get competitive at times and act like a frenemy. 

My BMs have been AWFUL.  They’re unsupportive, selfish, difficult and hard to even get a hold of (let alone get them to help me or do anything wedding related at all). I wish we had just skipped the wedding party. I’ve had to do everything myself anyway; not having them would have actually been less work for me in the longrun. 

Post # 7
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@katiebee3: You dont have to have 5 and 5 if you dont want to… I would not suggest asking just anyone to fill in your wedding party, make sure it is people you will be ok with



Post # 8
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Don’t worry about it.  Who cares if it’s even?  Just ask who you want to and don’t worry about the rest!

Post # 9
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t ask anyone with whom you are not close! You will regret it later. If you only have two, you have two.

I also think less is better… I’m only having three and haven’t had any problems so far. The girls know me well, so they know what to expect out of me. And I know what to expect from them, based on their personalities. When you start picking those who aren’t as close, things get misinterpreted and drama ensues.


Post # 10
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Another vote here for the uneven sides.  It will be so much easier to have those you are closest to and that doesn’t mean you can’t invite all the other girls to your wedding parties. 

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