Post # 1
I’ve never been particularly attached to my last name. It’s way too common and it’s always stuck me as very boring and white bread. The only things I like about my name are that I’m hard to search for online so it’s good for privacy and no one has ever asked me how it’s spelled or pronounced.
FH has a unique last name that was an Ellis Island-ized version of an old Polish name. It’s a pretty nice name IF you can figure out how to pronounce it. He’s constantly spelling it out for people letter by letter and they STILL get it wrong after multiple attempts. It drives him absolutely crazy and he’s said that if he wasn’t already a journalist with a following he’d change it in a second.
Recently I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of changing my name when we get married. Changing his or both names are out of the question because of his work so the decision is totally up to me. I’m not opposed to changing my name on principle, but should I really go through all the hassle of name changing when neither of us really likes either name? Or is better to remain as-is and have one fewer thing to worry about?
In my position, would you keep the name that’s boring but easy to spell and pronounce or the cool exotic name that NO ONE can spell or pronounce?
Post # 3
Well considering noone can spell my name now, and changing my last name doesn’t change not being able to say or spell my first name.. I’d change it. Having to repeat it and spell it multiple times for people has never really bothered me though… just never thought it was that big of a deal. lol
Post # 4
For the sake of making it easier once (if) you guys have kids who will be taking their father’s name (most cases), I’d take his – even today it’s hard for teachers to keep up with multiple name familes, and a lot easier to know that Billy Jones belongs to Mr and MRs Jones and not Mr Jones and Ms Smythwick.
Also, though it’s not the norm and his career might make a name change problematic for him, he COULD take your name… but be prepared for the fact that men changing their name follwong marriage (it HAS been done a few times) isn’t the norm, and therefore, again, confusing for official paper work and so on.
But, if you both want to try something different, can you combine the names in a fun way? Not a hyphenated name, but a smooshed version of both? I had a friend marrying a guy, call him Smith, and her family’s name started with Mc, so I wanted them to become the McSmiths (It sounded way cooler with the real names, I swear).
Or, your future H could also look into using his current spelling as a pen name, and he could still adjust the spelling to be less annoying. I ahve a name like his, an Anglicized Polish/Hebrew name that my German immigrant great-grandparents brought over. My grandfather changed it to the current spelling in WWII, because it looked too german, but no one can say it, or spell all 4 letters of it. Personally, while I’d waivered between liking its oddness and hating it, I’ll be happy to be able to one day get rid of it, as I am estranged from my father’s famiy, and hate that it’s so recognizable as belonging to them.
Post # 5
I would just keep your own name. You won’t have to do any of the annoying paperwork and you seem to not care either way.