Post # 1
I am constantly worried about money. FI and I aren’t rich, and I am not sure of standards of well-off.
I am finishing up university, but have paid off every year of schooling before I start the next semester. We have gone on 3 trips in the past 2 years; Japan, San Francisco and Las Vegas. We have been renting an apartment for 3 years, have a cat, and are avid gamers.<br /> Though, the older I get the more I stress about money. Wedding? Money. We’ve “whittled” it to $8k. There are things we just do not want to miss out of. Honeymoon? $4k in total. House we want to buy so we’re not spending $1000 a month in rent? Needs a down payment! Kids?? Don’t even get me started!!
My mom said she is the same way. The milestones are do-able and achievable but make her worry too. She goes on trips, but it makes her worry a bit. <br /> Am I normal or do I need to stop life and re-prioritize? 🙁
Post # 2
Haruyou: Years ago I had a ” light bulb” moment when I realized that I was wasting a colossal amount of energy worrying. Worrying never accomplishes anything. Instead of worrying, I started doing. Making concrete plans and carrying them out.
If a down payment is more important to you than travel, then stop travelling and start saving money.
You are actually in agreat position for a new graduate with no college debt.
Post # 3
Haruyou: A trip to Japan? I might as well try going to the moon. Vegas and San Fran are not in my future any time either. Frankly, it sounds like you are doing okay. Should you save money? Yes! But life is about living at the same time. No one is promised tomorrow.
Post # 4
julies1949: <br />Bridey77: <br /><br />Thank you both. I’ve worked very hard to keep debt off me, and have turned down my fair shares of “fun times” with friends to save. I try to enjoy myself, but I always end up feeling guilty, no matter what… <br />Can I ask you, Julies, what you tell yourself? And what your light bulb mooment was…? <br />And thank you, Bridey, true, no one is guarenteed anything. My friend joked with me once that I’ll be on my death bed saying, “Atleast I saved a lot.” and have no remorse. lol.<br />I do well for a little bit and tell myself, You did a good/right thing by purchasing that! etc. But then weeks later I look and go gah! Did I need that?! <br /><br />
Post # 5
Haruyou: My light bulb moment didn’t have anything to do with money. It had to do with making adecision to leave my now ex-husband.
In my first marriage I never worked ouside the home, so when it came to making my mind up to leave , I as immobilized by the fear of how I was going to provide for myself and our two children. I finally realized one day that I could live the rest of my life paralyzed by fear, or I could just leave him and get on with life.
I left him, moved back in with my parents, went back to school, took my nursing degree, and have never looked back.
Post # 6
I honestly think that this has more to do with personalities than anything else. Did/do you stress over grades in school? This to me is just the adult version of the same thing.
In school some people stressed and others didn’t. It didn’t have much to do with how well off you were, people with perfect GPA’s stressed, people struggling to pass stressed, and people comfortably in the middle stressed about grades. Others never cared, they got what they got and lived with it.
I see the same thing now. I know people who have tons of money who stress, I know people who struggle to pay rent and utilities who stress, and I know (an am one of these) people comfortably in the middle who stress. At the same time I know people of all income levels who just don’t care.
I am not the type of person to just settle for what I have. I have a great career, I have debt but am paying it well ahead of schedule, bought my house at 24, and will be paying cash for the wedding next year. That being said I still stress about my budget. I am fortunate that even if I blow through my budget I have plenty to fall back on, but that doesn’t make it less stressfull. I know that to do what I want to do, and to live the life we want to live we need to be smart with our money. It can be streesfull when multiple things go wrong at once and I have to spend more than I want to. Or I wasnt to do a project around the house and it costs more than I want it to. I find the I occaisionally have to remind my self why I work hard to make money and am careful to save it.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle
I can tell from your OP that you are very conscientious about your spending habits, and the fact that you are questioning your well-being in the future is a good thing! Just don’t let worrying consume you.
You are already at a HUGE advantage getting a degree debt free. There are so many people that pay back more on their loans than what their monthly mortgage payment is – so be grateful for that!
Don’t forget that once you are married it will be a partnership, and you will have your spouse to help you.
Post # 8
FutureDrAtkins: MakingHerWait: julies1949: thank you for all your comments, because they’ve helped me too. By reading the OP’s original post, she sounds alot like me. I’m also debt free, and paid for many “big things” in my life on my own (car, university, house, half of the wedding, as FI paid for the other half etc.) I still get panicked and worried that we won’t have enough, and, yes, I let worrying about the money situation consume me, which I know I shouldn’t. I consider myself to be money smart, but it’s still just all so scary because the consequences of one misstep with your money can be detrimental.
Anyways, thank you Bees! I need these reminders in my life because I don’t want the fear to ruin my life.
Post # 9
Haruyou: I get being worried about money. Both DH and I do at times because we like to save money. Sometimes experiences are worth more than having a ton of money in the bank at one particular moment. Things will happen when they’re supposed to. We will for sure have our first child before we own a home and I’m okay with that. Something like that is a huge financial commttiment and takes time to prepare adequately. As for kids, this was my biggest concern for a long time. Having kids is expensive. However, we’re ready. When you feel that you’re ready for kids, your priorities shift and the money you once spent on X now goes to something else. You sound like you’re doing fine and will come out of school with no debt (at least from school). Cut yourself a break and enjoy the lifestyle you have.
Post # 10
Sometimes I think all the money in the world would probably not ease my fears. So that would be an irrational fear and I try to recognize that. Of course some things are NOT going to be in your control, so I then look at what steps I can control to ensure things will be OK, or what preventative steps can I make. This to me means getting my “ducks in a row” – meaning good health insurance, good life insurance, good savings, good retirement. Then try to enjoy everything in between!