(Closed) Not doing a garter toss OR bouquet toss?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 19
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m not doing either of them either. My family, especially my mom, thinks I will have a boring wedding because of it. So be it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 23
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We aren’t doing either toss, nor any of those songs. We’ll have good food and good music–that should be fun enough.

I find the garter toss creepy and offensive, and the bouquet toss offensive, too. I know people do them, but I do not need to see the groom up under the bride’s dress, hear the terrible song they choose, see the inappropriate faces made, mime doing whatever, etc. I’ve been to a wedding where they tried to force my Fiance to participate in the garter toss–to the point where they had the DJ announce that he needed to come up. It was embarassing, and we ended up walking away from the reception for a while. At another wedding, they tried to do the same thing, though more to me–I was physically pushed by a few people to go up for the bouquet toss. That’s tacky. Leave people the eff alone if they don’t want to do it. 

My great aunt got remarried last summer (she’s in her late 70s) and did a bouquet toss. The only people who participated were some little girls and my 19 year old cousin, who happens to be over 6′ tall. No one caught or even tried to catch the bouquet–it hit the ground, they all stood there, and my cousin walked over and picked it up.

I plan on donating our flowers to a local nursing home the next day.

Post # 24
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m skipping them as well.  Everyone says that the reception goes by in a blur…I don’t want to waste even a minute doing things I don’t want to do at it. More time for dancing! woo!

Post # 25
977 posts
Busy bee

@sosewmama Nope. Just people actually enjoying their weddings instead of doing all these little events throughout the evenings. 


Post # 26
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@sosewmama:  Sorry, saw tacky in other posts. But it is the same standard for “trashy.” Other brides do it, so I would advise not labelling it that way. You may want to read the TOS for the Weddingbee.

There are many ways of saying you wouldn’t do something without calling it “trashy.” I am not trying to be mean or start a fight, but since it is a tradition, there are many people who have done it and on these boards, we try to not label other people’s choices as trashy.

Post # 27
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m not doing it because it’s just not our style. I’m personally too feminist for a bouquet toss (which is a stupid excuse, but I also just thing it would go over like a ton of bricks with our crowd), and partner and I are just too personal for the garter thing — we would both feel exceptionally weird about it.

However, we wanted *something* fun for the guests so we’re having MoH and Bridesmaid or Best Man host the Shoe Game for us (google it if you don’t know). They both know us well enough that they’re not going to ask anything that makes us uncomfortable (or at leat I hope so) and I think the guests will get a kick out of it. Especially because aprtner and I are always lovingly sniping zingers at each other, it should be pretty fun to watch us have to be silent, lol.

Anyway, perhaps something like that is an option to keep the peace with your mother without things feeling icky/not you? Good luck!

Post # 28
2492 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We didn’t do a bouquet or garter toss. We were pretty much the last of our friends/family to get married (that’s what we get for waiting 11 1/2 years to take the plunge!), so having only a few people participate just wasn’t worth it.

As for the songs, we only had the ‘Cha Cha Slide’ played, because it was a song I used to dance with my cousin/BM when I lived with her/her parents in college. It was ‘sentimental’, I guess you could say.

Post # 29
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

We did not do any of those things, nobody cared.

If you are a mother of 3, it is time to stand up for what you want and stop listening to your mother!

Post # 30
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Why do people find the garter toss offensive??  I have a friend who thinks that then the next thing u know several suggestive songs get played at the reception that are telling ladies to wobble, and shake it, and drop it like its hot.. Lol. So strange to me…

Post # 31
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sosewmama:  I would say go with the kind of reception that you and your Fiance want. My Fiance and I aren’t doing the garter toss or the bouquet toss. But the florist is giving us a free toss bouquet so we may be doing a generations dance but that is about it. As for those other dances, my Fiance insists on doing a couple of them because that is what his family does for weddings. To appease him I am going along with it. It isn’t going to ruin my night. ๐Ÿ™‚ But I say go with your gut instinct with what you want out of your reception! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

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